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Thursday, June 23, 2005

A MAN'S HOME IS HIS CASTLE - UNLESS WAL-MART, OR MARRIOT, OR CRACKER BARREL, OR ANY CHEESY TWO BIT DEVELOPER WHO GOLFS WITH THE MAYOR - REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, NEEDS THAT LAND, FOR A REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, IMPORTANT REASON.

PSST - MY BROTHER'S COUSIN HAS A DEMOLITION COMPANY. HE'LL BULLDOZE ANYTHING YOU WANT, CHEAP, IF YOU CAN HELP HIM OUT WITH A LITTLE TAX PROBLEM HE HAS.



A divided Supreme Court ruled Thursday that local governments may seize people's homes and businesses against their will for private development in a decision anxiously awaited in communities where economic growth often is at war with individual property rights.

As a result, cities now have wide power to bulldoze residences for projects such as shopping malls and hotel complexes in order to generate tax revenue.

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MAYBE THEY SHOULD CONSIDER PUBLISHING SOME SORT OF MANUAL, MAYBE A HANDBOOK, SO SCOUTS WOULD KNOW WHAT TO DO IN THESE SITUATIONS

Boy Scout Lost and Found

Some clues to what led to Brennan's four-day odyssey have emerged, though the boy has revealed few details:

Factors include his partner's failure to follow a key Scout rule to always look out for your buddy, a wrong turn Brennan took in the woods and the boy's strict adherence to parental advice to avoid strangers — in this case rescue workers.

Under Scout rules, Brian Christensen and Brennan were supposed to keep an eye on each other, but Brian said he figured Brennan wasn't far behind on a quarter-mile jog along a familiar camp road. Brian said he'll never again let a buddy out of his sight.

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ONLY IN PARK SLOPE

A berserk tenant allegedly used two knives to fatally butcher his elderly landlord in Brooklyn early yesterday - and then calmly rang a neighbor's doorbell.

"Can you do me a favor and call 911?" James McElwee, 55, asked the neighbor. "I think I killed the old man."

Neighbors described the suspect as a loose cannon, who worked odd hours. Neighbors recall him walking on the block, sometimes in a drunken stupor, screaming unintelligibly for no apparent reason.

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THIS WEEK'S NOMINEEE

A Long Island high school teacher was charged yesterday with having sex with two students - one boy and one girl, cops said.

Suspect Kyle Sabo, 25, had taught social studies at his alma mater, Division Avenue High School in Levittown, for three years and was student council adviser, cops said.

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Monday, June 20, 2005

GEE, OFFICER KRUPKE, WE'RE DOWN ON OUR KNEES 'CAUSE NO ONE WANTS A FELLOW WITH A SOCIAL DISEASE.


Kieran Crowe is an openly gay officer accused of behaving badly, allegedly making sexually suggestive use of his hands, tongue and other body parts in front of three male sergeants, the Daily News has learned.

The sexual harassment allegedly occurred when Crowe was a supervisor in, of all places, the NYPD's Office of Equal Employment Opportunity, which investigates cops' discrimination complaints.

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OH RIGHT, WE'RE WELL KNOWN FOR OUR RESPECT FOR SOVEREIGN NATIONS. HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT?

The director of the CIA says he has an "excellent idea'' where Osama bin Laden is hiding, but that the United States' respect for sovereign nations makes it more difficult to capture the al-Qaida chief.

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ADVICE FOR A MONDAY MORNING

"Oh well be not schmuck, be not obnoxious,
Be not bellbottom bummer or asshole."

Jonathan Richman, from Pablo Picasso

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Wednesday, June 15, 2005

HE'S TANNED. HE'S RESTED. HE'S READY

ISLAMABAD, Pakistan (AP) — Osama bin Laden is alive and in good health, as is fugitive Taliban chief Mullah Mohammed Omar, a purported senior commander of the ousted Afghan religious militia said in a TV interview broadcast Wednesday.

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WHAT'S ON YOUR IPOD, SGT. YORK?

Christina Aguilera Breaks Down Terrorist Suspects

Pierced popster Christina Aguilera has reportedly been used to ‘break down’ terrorist suspects at Guantanamo Bay. Not her personally, you understand, just her songs. We doubt they could afford her fee.

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Tuesday, June 14, 2005

THAT'S EXACTLY THE IMPRESSION I GOT


"Even though he is a superstar, he's a human," said Juror No. 8. "Watching him during this trial, to me he's just a normal person. It made him real."

She also said the long trial made Jackson, who came to court in makeup and outlandish clothes, seem more "normal."

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Monday, June 13, 2005

PAGETURNERS 2

time's a wastin'!

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THE GUY WHO THOUGHT OF THE PUPPET SHOW GOT A PROMOTION


The so-called 20th hijacker in the 9/11 attacks was tormented by his interrogators with dripping water, sleep deprivation and Christina Aguilera music, secret Guantanamo Bay prison logs revealed yesterday.

In an effort to wrest a confession from Mohammed al-Qahtani, his military captors also shaved his head and face, forced him to urinate in his pants and strip-searched him.

During 50 days in the winter of 2002-2003, they hung photos of half-naked women around al-Qahtani's neck, lampooned him in a puppet show and ordered him to bark like a dog at photos of terrorists.

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Friday, June 10, 2005

ON A LIGHTER NOTE, I PLAN TO HOLD MY BREATH UNTIL I TURN BLUE UNLESS ALL THESE ONLINE NEWSPAPERS STOP MAKING ME REGISTER AND LOG IN JUST TO READ NONSENSE LIKE THIS

Sri Lankan Monks Decry Aid Deal With Rebel Group

Dozens of Buddhist monks and hundreds of their supporters today broke through a barricade to reach the home of Sri Lanka's president, threatening to set themselves on fire unless she backed off a plan to share tsunami aid with Tamil Tiger rebels.

lat

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Thursday, June 09, 2005

PRACTICAL JOKER


A 32-year-old man in Dallas named Keith (he declined to give his last name) said he had tried to cope with his asexuality by marrying.

"I thought that getting married would fix me and suddenly I would become interested in sex."

After six years he and his wife were divorced, and now he is living with a younger man in a relationship that he described as loving and romantic but free of sex.

NYT

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INTRODUCING PAGETURNERS - A NEW SERVICE FROM TK

Don't miss this

Or, of course, the companion volume

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SUFFER THE LITTLE CHILDREN TO GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE


The Catholic Archdiocese of Boston, seeking to head off the possible occupation of a closing Catholic school by angry parents, yesterday abruptly changed the locks, called off graduation ceremonies for children as young as 3, and canceled the final two days of classes.

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Wednesday, June 08, 2005

BUT DOES ANYONE REMEMBER TEENAGE JESUS AND THE JERKS?


WXPN Artist To Watch - June 2005 - Matisyahu

Matthew Miller was born in West Chester, Pennsylvania on June 30th 1979, corresponding to the Jewish date of the 5th of Tamuz 5740. Shortly after his birth, the Miller family moved to Berkeley, CA and eventually settled in White Plains, NY. Growing up, Matisyahu's parents sent him to Hebrew School a couple of times a week, but like many kids, he resisted the additional school hours and was frequently threatened with expulsion for disrupting the lessons.

By the age of 14, Matthew Miller slid comfortably into the laid-back lifestyle of a teenage hippie. Having fallen in with the "Dead-Head" crowd, he grew dreadlocks and wore his Birkenstocks all winter long. He played his bongos in the lunchroom and learned how to beat-box in the back of class. By 11th grade, despite his carefree days, Matisyahu couldn't ignore the void in his life. After nearly burning down his chemistry class, he knew his mission must begin immediately. He decided to set off on a camping trip in Colorado. Away from his suburban life in White Plains, Matisyahu had the opportunity to take an introspective look at himself and contemplate his environment. It was there in the awe-inspiring landscape of the Rocky Mountain's, that Matisyahu had an eye-opening realization: there is a G-d.

After Colorado, his spiritual curiosity piqued and Matisyahu took his first trip to Israel. There, for the first time in his life, he felt a connection to the G-d he discovered in Colorado. Israel was a major turning point. Matisyahu relished the time he spent there, praying, exploring, and dancing in Jerusalem. In every nook he encountered, his dormant Jewish identity stirred into consciousness.

Leaving Israel proved to be a difficult transition. Once back in White Plains, Matisyahu didn't know how to maintain his new connection with Judaism. Feeling dejected, he fatefully dropped out of high school and began following Phish on a national tour. On the road, Matisyahu thought seriously about his life, his music, and his thirst for Judaism.

After a few months, burnt out and broke, he returned home. By this time his parents insisted that Matisyahu go and "straighten" himself out at a wilderness school in Bend, Oregon. The school encouraged artistic pursuits and Matisyahu took advantage of this time to delve further into his music. He studied up on reggae and hip-hop. He attended a weekly open-mic where he rapped, sang, beat-boxed, and did almost anything he could to stay creatively charged. It was then that he started to develop the unique reggae-hip hop sound for which he would one day become known.

After 2 years in the "sticks," the 19-year old Matisyahu returned to New York a changed man. He moved to the city to attend The New School where he continued honing his musical craft, and also dabbled in the theater. During this time, he happened on the Carlebach Shul, a synagogue on the Upper West Side, well known for its hippie-friendly vibe and exuberant singing. This encounter further fueled his soul-fire, turning him on to the mystical power of song in Hasidic Judaism. Now, instead of beat boxing in the back of the classroom, he was leaving the classroom to pray on the school's roof. (Religious or not, this guy ain't made for the classrooms.)

While studying at New School, Matisyahu wrote a play entitled "Echad" (One). The play was about a boy who meets a Hasidic rabbi in Washington Square Park and through him becomes religious. Shortly after the play's performance, Matisyahu's life strangely imitated his art. Indeed, years after the initial sparks were lit, Matisyahu met a Lubavitch rabbi in the park, spurring his transformation from Matthew to Matisyahu.

A person who was once skeptical of authority and rules, Matisyahu began to explore and eventually fully take on the Lubavitch Hasidic lifestyle. He thrived on the discipline and structure of Judaism, making every attempt to abide by Jewish Law. The Chabad-Lubavitch philosophy proved to be a powerful guide for Matisyahu. It surrounded him with the spiritual dialogue and intellectual challenge he had been seeking for the past decade. The turmoil and frustration of his search subsided, and now, 2 years later, Matisyahu lives in Crown Heights, splitting his time between the stage and his yeshiva.

Combining the sounds of Bob Marley and Shlomo Carlebach, yet remaining wholly original, Matisyahu's performance is an uplifting, powerful experience for all in his presence. Even the most pessimistic in his audience is inspired by his ability to so honestly convey such a delicate, topic as faith/spirituality. It is his dedication to his belief and openness to others that compels one to respect his artistry and message. It's in that fleeting moment when our skepticism melts and our souls open up, that Matisyahu enters with his booming sound of faith. (Official Bio)

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AND EVEN FARTHER BACK, THERE WAS THIS:

THE NEXT BIG THING

I used to shiver in the wings
But then I was young

I used to shiver in the wings
Till I found my own tongue

I sock 'em everywhere that I sing
Cause you know babyI'm the Next Big Thing

I knocked 'em dead in Dallas
And I didn't pay my dues

Yeah, I knocked 'em dead in Dallas
They didn't know we were Jews

(Handsome Dick Manitoba and the Dictators)

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AS IN GOLDILOCKS AND THE PORRIDGE

BECAUSE THEY WAY I READ IT, THAT MEANS ONE QUARTER BELIEVES THAT THERE AREN'T ENOUGH CASUALTIES - OR MAYBE THE NUMBER IS JUST RIGHT


For the first time since the start of the 2003 U.S.-led invasion of Iraq, the majority of Americans believe that the war has not made the U.S. safer, a new Washington Post/ABC News poll showed.

Fifty-two percent of the 1002 adults who participated in the survey, conducted between June 2 and 5, said that the U.S.-led war in Iraq did not contribute to the long-term security of their country, which was a key premise on which the U.S. President George W. Bush justified the invasion.

The survey also found that nearly three-quarters of the Americans say the number of U.S. casualties in Iraq is unacceptable,

link (note the nifty source)

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