TOMORROWKNOWS

NOT EXACTLY THE PUBLISHERS' CLEARINGHOUSE

"Congratulations," says Helen from Administration, as she deposits a lurid, hideously overgrown pointsettia on my desk.

"And what is this?" I ask.

"You won 2nd prize in the office Christmas raffle," she replies.

"Funny, I don't remember entering any raffle," I say.

"Everyone at the luncheon was automatically entered," she says. "We used the lunch tickets for the raffle."

"Oh, so that was my mistake," I counter.

She just stares at me. I guess you're not supposed to make fun of tragedy during the holiday season.

I have to think fast. I know LZ won't appreciate me bringing a mutant Christmas plant home.

"I'd like to accept this, but I really shouldn't," I say. "I have cats, and I've heard that pointsettia berries are toxic to them."

"No problem," JC yells from his desk. "Cats won't touch them. I fill the house with pointsettias every year, can't get a nibble."

"You know what you should do," Helen says, "tell your wife you stopped and got it special for her. She'll really appreciate the thought."

"Good idea," I say. "I guess I'll take it then."