Thursday, July 15, 2004
A BUNCH OF GUYS IN A MICHAEL MOORE SUIT
As I was leaving the matinee showing of Spiderman 2 this weekend, I fell in with a crowd who had apparently just seen Fahrenheit 9/11. I'm usually not an eavesdropper, but I couldn't help myself. This was obviously a knowledgeable group.
"I love how the whole traditional five act structure was turned upside-down, then sideways for a while," one said.
"I found it very ...." said another.
(I missed a word there. He said either galling or Gallic, I wasn't sure.)
"Speaking of the French," said the third, "I definitely saw references to mid-period Renior, both in the narrative arc and in the cinematography."
(I still wasn't sure.)
"I wonder about the script," chimed in another. "Don't you think that cast of characters they came up with with just a bit over the top? I had a real problem suspending my disbelief."
They began to talk over each other and I could only catch disjointed fragments.
"Not so much Renoir, as classic Truffaut."
"That's how he is. He makes everything up."
"The Depardieu part, obviously."
"The characters I had no problem with, it was the acting I didn't buy. Couldn't they get a better actor to play the narrator, that Moore guy?"
"Shall we stop for wine and cheese?"
-------------------------------------------------------
All the way home I was bothered by the comment about the acting. I began to do a little investigating on the web and that is how I stumbled on one of the vastest of the vast conspiracy theories yet promulgated.
The story goes like this:
After the original release of Roger and Me certain higher-ups in government and industry perceived Moore as a genuine threat to their way of doing business. They resolved to buy Moore off. This proved to be a simple matter. As is well known, Moore is a liar and a schemer with no principles. He went for the quick buck without a backwards look.
It was an easy matter to create a new name (with supporting documents). Moore was also convinced to shave and join a gym. Once he was presentable, he was rewarded with a job writing promotional copy for a large pharmaceutical conglomerate. Moore now makes $60,000 a year, lives in a tidy suburban home, drives a Buick, and votes Republican.
Once the real Michael Moore was taken care of, certain interests (from both business and government, and crossing party lines) decided that a faux Michael Moore could be very useful in keeping the masses entertained so they could continue going about their business undisturbed.
The actual intellectual impetus for this is rumored to be The Trilateral Commission, the funding is said to come from The Bilderbergers.
No matter.
Some say the current Michael Moore is an animatronic creation, crafted in secret by The Disney Company.(Remember, Michael Eisner was a Hollywood liberal before he got in bed with Jeb Bush down in the swampland.) Others say he has been played by a series of increasingly corpulent actors in the employ of the CIA, and or ICM.
The problem is that the Frankenstein-like experiment has gone off the rails. "Michael Moore" is out of control. Now, (according to my web sources) the long experiment will be ended.
How this will be accomplished is anybody's guess.
Is there a real actor, a rogue employee, who will have to be subjected to a Ludovico-like technique in order to reemerge as a happy-go-lucky director of teen comedies?
Or maybe it's just a matter of disconnecting a few circuits and returning that animatronic hulk to its previous employ as a member of The Country Bear Review (now conveniently on hiatus at Disneyworld).
I'll be staying on this story.
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As I was leaving the matinee showing of Spiderman 2 this weekend, I fell in with a crowd who had apparently just seen Fahrenheit 9/11. I'm usually not an eavesdropper, but I couldn't help myself. This was obviously a knowledgeable group.
"I love how the whole traditional five act structure was turned upside-down, then sideways for a while," one said.
"I found it very ...." said another.
(I missed a word there. He said either galling or Gallic, I wasn't sure.)
"Speaking of the French," said the third, "I definitely saw references to mid-period Renior, both in the narrative arc and in the cinematography."
(I still wasn't sure.)
"I wonder about the script," chimed in another. "Don't you think that cast of characters they came up with with just a bit over the top? I had a real problem suspending my disbelief."
They began to talk over each other and I could only catch disjointed fragments.
"Not so much Renoir, as classic Truffaut."
"That's how he is. He makes everything up."
"The Depardieu part, obviously."
"The characters I had no problem with, it was the acting I didn't buy. Couldn't they get a better actor to play the narrator, that Moore guy?"
"Shall we stop for wine and cheese?"
-------------------------------------------------------
All the way home I was bothered by the comment about the acting. I began to do a little investigating on the web and that is how I stumbled on one of the vastest of the vast conspiracy theories yet promulgated.
The story goes like this:
After the original release of Roger and Me certain higher-ups in government and industry perceived Moore as a genuine threat to their way of doing business. They resolved to buy Moore off. This proved to be a simple matter. As is well known, Moore is a liar and a schemer with no principles. He went for the quick buck without a backwards look.
It was an easy matter to create a new name (with supporting documents). Moore was also convinced to shave and join a gym. Once he was presentable, he was rewarded with a job writing promotional copy for a large pharmaceutical conglomerate. Moore now makes $60,000 a year, lives in a tidy suburban home, drives a Buick, and votes Republican.
Once the real Michael Moore was taken care of, certain interests (from both business and government, and crossing party lines) decided that a faux Michael Moore could be very useful in keeping the masses entertained so they could continue going about their business undisturbed.
The actual intellectual impetus for this is rumored to be The Trilateral Commission, the funding is said to come from The Bilderbergers.
No matter.
Some say the current Michael Moore is an animatronic creation, crafted in secret by The Disney Company.(Remember, Michael Eisner was a Hollywood liberal before he got in bed with Jeb Bush down in the swampland.) Others say he has been played by a series of increasingly corpulent actors in the employ of the CIA, and or ICM.
The problem is that the Frankenstein-like experiment has gone off the rails. "Michael Moore" is out of control. Now, (according to my web sources) the long experiment will be ended.
How this will be accomplished is anybody's guess.
Is there a real actor, a rogue employee, who will have to be subjected to a Ludovico-like technique in order to reemerge as a happy-go-lucky director of teen comedies?
Or maybe it's just a matter of disconnecting a few circuits and returning that animatronic hulk to its previous employ as a member of The Country Bear Review (now conveniently on hiatus at Disneyworld).
I'll be staying on this story.
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