TOMORROWKNOWS

2007-05-23T09:17:00.001-07:00

GO AWAY

ALL NONSENSE HAS MOVED TO: THETHOUGHTFULPIG.BLOGSPOT.COM

2007-03-24T19:46:00.000-07:00

DO YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT?

HOUSTON (AP) -- A 19-year-old Texas A&M University student was killed by her ex-boyfriend, who then dismembered and burned her body on a patio grill, authorities said Saturday.

2007-03-21T08:04:00.000-07:00

NO WE AIN'T

"The public aren't stupid."

Heather Mills, to Larry King

2007-01-05T03:25:00.000-08:00

WE KNOW WHAT THE FIRST THING ON THEIR MINDS IS

Embezzlement Is Found in Catholic Dioceses

A survey by researchers at Villanova University has found that 85 percent of Roman Catholic dioceses that responded had discovered embezzlement of church money in the last five years, with 11 percent reporting that more than $500,000 had been stolen.

We think if you work for a church — you’re a volunteer or a priest — the last thing on your mind is to do something dishonest,” Mr. Zech said. “But people are people, and there’s a lot of temptation there, and with the cash-based aspect of how churches operate, it’s pretty easy.”

nyt

2006-11-27T10:02:00.000-08:00

PAPER OR PLASTIC?

Man bagged and beaten unconscious

A 59-year-old Jersey City man was attacked near Journal Square by several men who threw a bag over his head and beat him unconscious, officials said.

??

2006-09-07T10:24:00.000-07:00

BUSY BUSY

Ex-priest faces more molestation charges

FLEMINGTON -- A defrocked Roman Catholic priest from Hamilton who in 2003 was sentenced to a lengthy prison term after he was convicted of sexually molesting an altar boy has been indicted on new charges alleging he molested another child more than a decade ago, the Hunterdon County Prosecutor's Office announced yesterday.

John M. Banko, 60, is charged in the two-count indictment with aggravated sexual assault and endangering the welfare of a child, the prosecutor's office said.

snip

Banko is currently serving a 15-year prison sentence at the Adult Diagnostic and Treatment Center in Avenel. He was found guilty in December 2002 of sexually assaulting an 11-year-old altar boy after Mass at St. Edward's Church in Milford on two consecutive Sundays in September 1993.

link

2006-08-18T08:19:00.000-07:00

BUT HE DID STAY AT A HOLIDAY INN EXPRESS LAST NIGHT

Links to JonBenet Are Unclear

The teacher arrested in the 1996 slaying says he was with her when she died. Some have doubts.

BOULDER, Colo. — The complex portrait that began to emerge Thursday of John Mark Karr, the American arrested this week in the 1996 slaying of JonBenet Ramsey, suggested he was a troubled schoolteacher with a record that included child pornography charges but no clear links to the victim or even to Colorado, the state where the crime occurred.

A calm, neatly dressed Karr, appearing at a news conference at a Bangkok, Thailand, detention facility, told reporters he was with the 6-year-old girl when she died.

Boulder DA punked?

2006-08-18T07:15:00.000-07:00

AUGUSTUS GLOOP AT IT AGAIN

Wis. Man Trapped in Tank of Chocolate

KENOSHA, Wisconsin (AP) -- A 21-year-old man was trapped in a tank of chocolate for about two hours early Friday, police said.

Capt. Randy Berner said the worker said he got into the tank at the Debelis Corp. to unplug it and became trapped waist-deep in the chocolate.

oompa

2006-08-15T08:44:00.000-07:00

EVEN I'VE HEARD OF GRUMPY SCALIA AND BASHFUL CLARENCE THOMAS

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Three quarters of Americans can correctly identify two of Snow White's seven dwarfs while only a quarter can name two Supreme Court Justices, according to a poll on pop culture released on Monday.

oyez

2006-08-11T09:26:00.000-07:00

KICK OUT THE JAMS, MATT!

The trend toward casual dress has gone so far that Matt Smith, a 27-year-old Century City lawyer, is on a quest to establish "Tie Tuesday." He would like to wear a suit to work but knows he'd be ridiculed. Instead, Smith dons a tie every Tuesday and hopes other men in his office will follow. So far a couple have.

"It's just something fun," he said.

lat

2006-08-02T04:56:00.000-07:00

Q: HOW HOW WAS IT? A: WHY, IT WAS SO HOT I SAW A DOG CHASING A CAT AND THEY WERE BOTH WALKING TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM TO GET TREATMENT FOR HEAT STROKE

Hard to shake big bake

Temps to hit 100

The heat will be on today, as temperatures are predicted to soar past the 100-degree mark - setting the stage for one of the hottest days in New York history.

The National Weather Service is calling for record highs of 100 to 105 degrees, which would break today's record of 100 degrees.

It could even approach the city's all-time high of 106, set back on July 9, 1936.

hot tamale

2006-07-26T06:19:00.000-07:00

STAGGER LEE THREW 7, BILLY SWORE THAT HE THREW 8

Pem. Twp. man shot during dice game in stable condition

PEMBERTON TOWNSHIP — A township man who was shot Friday as he tried to pull out of a dice game remained hospitalized yesterday, police said.

Paul Crawley, 35, of the Browns Mills section of the township was listed in stable condition yesterday at Cooper University Hospital in Camden, township police Detective Lt. Ronald Kreig said.

Crawley was playing dice about 10:45 p.m. Friday with a group outside a home in the 100 block of Kinsley Road when he and another player became involved in an argument, Kreig said.

As Crawley tried to leave the game, he was shot in the abdomen by the man he was arguing with, Kreig said.

Crawley was driven to Virtua Memorial Hospital Burlington County in Mount Holly by a friend and then transferred to the trauma unit at Cooper.

link

2006-06-27T07:04:00.000-07:00

I GUESS THEY'LL HAVE TO PUT HIM DOWN

STOCKHOLM, Sweden - Guns N' Roses frontman Axl Rose was arrested in Stockholm early Tuesday after allegedly biting a security guard in the leg outside his hotel, police said.

arf

2006-06-21T06:07:00.000-07:00

HE DID, HOWEVER, ONCE BUMP INTO RINGO STARR, WHILE ON VACATION IN ASPEN

Faling From Genghis's Family Tree

DNA tests have furnished a double surprise for Thomas R. Robinson, an associate professor of accounting at the University of Miami. The first was being told he was descended from Genghis Khan. The second was learning last week that the first test was wrong.

nyt

2006-06-16T06:06:00.000-07:00

FUNNY, THAT'S THE SAME THING I HAD TO SAY TO THE PLUMBER BEFORE HE WOULD COME IN AND FIX MY DRAIN

A Changing Mass for U.S. Catholics

Roman Catholic bishops in the United States voted yesterday to change the wording of many of the prayers and blessings that Catholics have recited at daily Mass for more than 35 years, yielding to Vatican pressure for an English translation that is closer to the original Latin.

Catholics will have to learn longer and more awkward versions of familiar prayers. For example, instead of saying, "Lord, I am not worthy to receive you," in the prayer before Communion, they will say, "Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof."

nyt

2006-06-13T07:01:00.000-07:00

ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY. FOR THE LAST TIME: WHEN YOU SEE SCOUTMASTERS, PRIESTS, CLOWNS, MOST GYM TEACHERS - IT'S TIME TO LOCK UP YOUR CHILDREN, NOT TURN THEM OVER.

A scout's dishonor spurred two mothers' rage in a Queens courtroom yesterday as a troop leader-turned-child molester was sentenced to 20 years in prison yesterday for stealing the "innocence and trust of little boys."

"Every week, I drove my son, like a lamb to slaughter, to scout meetings," one of the moms thundered at convicted pervert scoutmaster Ronald Occhipinti, clad in a baby blue polo shirt, khaki pants and navy blue sneakers.

"This man molested him in the very next room while I sat and chatted with other parents.

snip

Occhipinti took videos and photos of the boys in sexual poses, sometimes in the underwear he gave them as gifts, investigators said. They also said they found some of the underwear in plastic bags in his freezer - each bearing a note with the child's name and date of the sexual assault - in the home he shared with his elderly mother in Bayside.

nydn

2006-06-08T12:22:00.000-07:00

WHO SAYS KIDS DON'T PAY ATTENTION IN SCHOOL?

Pupils Say They Saw Teachers Have Sex

TAMPA - Two Hillsborough County middle school teachers have resigned after students saw them having sex in a classroom, a report released Wednesday states.

oh, the depravity

2006-06-08T07:49:00.000-07:00

DOG BITES MAN

Part-time clown faces child pornography charge

BEACHWOOD — A 46-year-old Beachwood man, who works as a nurse's aide and part-time clown, has been charged with possession of child pornography on his personal computer.

Walter Homan, who works as a nurse's aide with Meridian Health Care in Brick Township and has a business where he performs as "Skates the Clown," was charged with one count of child endangerment for possession of child pornography, Ocean County Prosecutor Thomas F. Kelaher announced Wednesday.

If convicted of the fourth-degree crime, Homan faces up to 18 months in prison and may also have to register as a sex offender under Megan's Law, Executive Assistant Prosecutor Robert A. Gasser said.

link

2006-06-06T06:09:00.000-07:00

I ALWAYS THOUGHT CHAKA KHAN WAS THE FIRST

In the Body of an Accounting Professor, a Little Bit of the Mongol Hordes

The first American to be able to claim descent from Genghis Khan has been discovered. He is Thomas R. Robinson, an associate professor of accounting at the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla.

nyt

2006-06-06T06:05:00.000-07:00

SOMEBODY BETTER HOLD ME BACK. I'M DEFINITELY CAMPING OUT AT BARNES & NOBLE FOR THIS ONE.

Magazine Editor Is Chosen to Collaborate on Greenspan Memoir

After weeks of speculation, Alan Greenspan, the former chairman of the Federal Reserve, has chosen a collaborator for his memoir, to be published by Penguin Press in fall 2007.

Peter Petre, a senior editor at large at Fortune magazine and co-author of best sellers by Gen. H. Norman Schwarzkopf and by Thomas J. Watson Jr., former chairman of I.B.M., will help Mr. Greenspan write his book.

Mr. Greenspan, who sold the book for an $8.5 million advance in March, has been interviewing ghostwriting candidates since then.

nyt

2006-06-02T06:05:00.000-07:00

ROLL OVER, DIAMOND JIM BRADY

Rumson priest due in court for $2M theft

The Rumson priest who admitted stealing more than $2 million from parish coffers will appear in Superior Court in Monmouth County this morning for sentencing.

snipped

During his time as pastor at Holy Cross, Hughes developed a reputation as a man with a prodigious appetite for the good life. He dined in fine restaurants, took fancy vacations and wore flashy jewelry.

He also played the role of generous benefactor to a young man whose grandmother he had met during a trip to Florida, providing the man, David Rogers, with a house in Howell, a big-screen TV, a stainless steel refrigerator, a $58,000 BMW and trips to Cancun and Bermuda.

link

2006-06-01T08:18:00.000-07:00

HEY! HAVE YOU SEEN MY SOCK DRAWER? IT'S FABULOUS!

"People are trying to outdo each other with the fanciness of their closets, and they're showing them off a lot."

Helen Kuhl, editor in chief of Closets, a trade magazine published in Lincolnshire

nyt

2006-06-01T06:21:00.000-07:00

MAYBE THE PRISON TIME WILL DAUNT THIS FELLOW

Former teacher admits having sex with student

A former Columbia High School English teacher admitted yesterday to having sex with a 16-year-old student in a school closet and agreed to a penalty of three years in prison.

Nelson Trias, 43, of Union pleaded guilty in Superior Court in Newark to official misconduct stemming from incidents that took place at the school June 1 and 2 of last year, said Deborah Freier, Essex County assistant prosecutor.

snipped

Prior to Trias' arrest, a former student wrote a poem in his honor that is still posted on the student's Web log.

"He handles with tact, the most difficult situations, in which it would be easy to overreact," the student wrote. "A student flaunting her sexuality in a most overt way, he finds undaunting."

link

2006-05-30T07:00:00.000-07:00

IT STARTED WITH MILES STANDISH

Official: Iraq civilian deaths unjustified

WASHINGTON - Military investigators probing the deaths last November of about two dozen Iraqi civilians have evidence that points toward unprovoked murders by Marines, a senior defense official said Friday.

The Marine Corps initially reported 15 deaths and said they were caused by a roadside bomb and an ensuing firefight with insurgents. A separate investigation is aimed at determining if Marines lied to cover up the events, which included the deaths of women and children.

If confirmed as unjustified killings, the episode could be the most serious case of criminal misconduct by U.S. troops during three years of combat in Iraq. Until now the most infamous occurrence was the Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse involving Army soldiers, which came to light in April 2004 and which President Bush said Thursday he considered to be the worst U.S. mistake of the entire war.

link

"It is ... a thing more glorious, in men's eyes, than pleasing in God's, or convenient for Christians, to be a terror to poor barbarous people, And indeed I am afraid lest, by these occasions, others should be drawn to affect a kind of ruffling course in the world."

page 156

Pastor John Robinson admonishes Plymouth Governor Bradford when he gets word that the Pilgrims have murdered Indiand in cold blood. (1622)

2006-05-26T08:25:00.000-07:00

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. I'VE GOT A CALL INTO THE PEOPLE AT THE DARWIN AWARDS

Susan Thomas was reclining in a lawn chair Monday on a sandbar on the upper river area of Ross Barnett Reservoir.

A book was open in her lap, but her attention was elsewhere.

Thomas was mostly keeping tabs on her two daughters swimming but was also on the lookout for something that could sneak up and snatch one of them.

"There are some big alligators on this river; I know, I've seen them," said Thomas, 41, of Madison. "And even though I've never seen one come near a sandbar when we've been swimming, I am paying more attention lately."

Three recent fatal alligator attacks on humans in Florida have Thomas a little more on edge.

A jogger was killed May 9 in southeastern Florida when an alligator apparently attacked her on land and dragged her to the water. A snorkeler in central Florida died five days later. And another woman was killed a few days before her dismembered body was discovered in a canal on Mother's Day.

"But we're not about to quit swimming up here," she said. "The girls (Jill, 12, and Carly, 9) love it too much. Like today, they got out of school early and had asked if we could go to the river. ... This is a lot safer than a lot of other things the girls could get into, and, if we're careful, I doubt we'll have any problems with alligators."

link

2006-05-26T07:57:00.000-07:00

FAT MAN HITCHING A RIDE DOESN'T WORK AS WELL, DOES IT?

NEW YORK -- He became America's hero, a flawed man with a massive belly and a headful of demons. Fat Man Walking, as Steve Vaught referred to himself, embarked on a cross-country journey to discover why he was unemployed and depressed, and weighed 400 pounds.

excised

But what Vaught, 40, achieved is less clear. Interviews, online journals and a timeline of his progress provided by the documentary film crew have raised serious questions about whether Vaught in fact walked every inch of the way. Members of the film crew gave Vaught a camera (they didn't accompany him for the whole trek) and in one case, the film places him in Albuquerque one day and 117 miles to the east in Santa Rosa, N.M., the next.

wapo

2006-05-25T06:45:00.000-07:00

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

pas besoin de gril: l'enfer, c'est les autres

2006-05-23T09:35:00.000-07:00

I JUST GOT AN EMAIL FROM ONE OF THEM - WE'RE GOING IN ON A BUSINESS DEAL

Nigerian Monkeys Drop Hints on Language Origin

Researchers taping calls of the putty-nosed monkey in the forests of Nigeria may have come a small step closer to understanding the origins of human language.

uh huh

2006-05-23T06:31:00.000-07:00

HENCE THE BLOGGING

Researchers studying monkeys and apes have learned that they possess all the basic apparatus needed to make and analyze sounds.

But the nonhuman primates did not seem to possess either of the two combinatorial features of language, those of combining discrete sounds into compound words, and of stringing words together under rules of syntax.

nyt

2006-05-19T07:58:00.000-07:00

STINGY MOM TAUGHT A LESSON

CHARGED WITH BEATING MOM

Mom won't take back boys, 14 and 15

Instead of a gift, flowers or even a card, two Jersey City teens gave their mom a beating on Mother's Day, according to Jersey City police.

The 14-and 15-year-old brothers were arrested for simple assault Sunday after sending their mother to the Jersey City Medical Center for treatment of cuts and bruises, Sgt. Edgar Martinez said.

The 31-year-old Van Horne Street mom said her sons attacked her about 11 a.m. because she refused to give them cash to buy expensive clothes, Martinez said.

"They didn't even say 'Happy Mother's Day' that morning," she said sadly.

"We were sitting there watching TV and they started asking me for $100 sneakers, jeans," she said inside her apartment yesterday. "When I said no, they started cursing me, telling me they hated me. Then they 'mushed' me into that wall."

The boys then punched and kicked her, chasing her and continuing the attack even after she fled into the hallway, she said. The beating stopped when a concerned neighbor called police and the boys fled.

here

2006-05-18T04:45:00.000-07:00

WHAT I FIND AMAZING IS THAT THEY WERE ALL AT NUMBERS DIVISIBLE BY 100 WHEN POLLED.

Maxim's Top 10 Living Legends of Sex - and the number of women they are alleged to have slept with:

10. Bill Wyman (Rolling Stones bassist) - 1,000
9. Earvin (Magic) Johnson (basketball star) - 1,000
8. Lemmy Kilmister (Motorhead frontman) - 1,200
7. Jack Nicholson (actor) - 2,000
6. Ilie Nastase (tennis star) - 2,500
5. Engelbert Humperdinck (singer) - 3,000
4. Julio Iglesias (singer) - 3,000
3. Gene Simmons (Kiss frontman) - 4,600
2. Charlie Sheen (actor) - 5,000
1. Umberto Billo (Venetian hotel porter) - 8,000

2006-05-18T04:40:00.000-07:00

HIS BAD

Spouse's creepy porn

He posted pix of wife on Web& invited others to rape her: DA

Meet the hubby from hell.

A Queens man threatened to kill his wife and her family unless she posed in sick sex positions, prosecutors said yesterday. Then, unbeknown to her, he allegedly posted the sordid photos over the Internet, inviting viewers to rape her.

"Someone Googled her name at work and all this awful stuff showed up," Assistant District Attorney Todd Komisky told a judge. "Pornographic sexual things were all over the Internet."

Thomas Gillen, 43, a college recruiter from Rockaway Park, was charged in January with reckless endangerment for posting the photos. He was charged yesterday with threatening his wife if she cooperated with law enforcement.

"The e-mail[s] were sent to random strangers with the message, 'I have a fantasy of being raped. I want to be raped,'" said Komisky, adding that Gillen gave his wife's name, work address and other information.

"The complaining witness was extremely distressed and frightened."

the rest

2006-05-17T07:46:00.000-07:00

DEPT. OF TMI

The first step in making a culatello is boning and removing most of the thigh from the leg of fresh ham, leaving the rounded buttock ("culo" is Italian slang for a rear end).

Cured for several weeks in a mixture of salt, sugar and small amounts of sodium nitrate (also called saltpeter), a preservative, and massaged several times, the meat is spiced with black pepper, tightly encased in a pig's bladder to help maintain its succulence ("creaminess is godliness," or so Mr. Batali says), tied into its characteristic shape and hung up for long, slow aging.

there's lots more (if you're registered)

2006-05-17T07:34:00.000-07:00

GOSH DARN IT. THE INTRUSIVE MEDIA HAS CLAIMED ANOTHER SET OF VICTIMS.

Ex-Beatle Paul McCartney Splits From Wife

LONDON (Reuters) - Former Beatle Paul McCartney and his second wife Heather Mills are to separate after four years of marriage, the couple confirmed in a statement on Wednesday.

McCartney, 63, and former model Mills, 38, who married at a lavish wedding ceremony in Ireland in June 2002, had decided to split because constant media intrusion had made "it increasingly difficult to maintain a normal relationship".

link

2006-05-12T03:07:00.000-07:00

I ALWAYS SAID THAT YOU CAN'T TRUST A WRESTLER

Principal let perv volunteer - report

Retired Principal Sidney Massey defended move to let Mario Martis, accused of sodomy by boy, 12, work as volunteer.

A city principal allowed a disgraced school employee - who had been fired for allegedly sexually assaulting a student - to volunteer at an East Harlem school where the pervert continued to prey on boys, authorities said yesterday.

Mario Martis, 29, was axed from his city school aide post in 2000 after a 12-year-old boy he tutored accused him of sodomy.

But his twisted criminal history did not stop Principal Sidney Massey from permitting Martis to volunteer at Public School 37 from 2004 until last year, according to special schools investigator Richard Condon.

Martis also invited a half-dozen young boys to sleep over at his Manhattan home, where he shared a bed with several kids and wrestled with them, students told investigators.

In one case, Martis allegedly promised to buy a bicycle for a 9-year-old boy if he agreed to spend the night. The boy slept over and wrestled Martis in his underwear but never got the bike, investigators said

and more

2006-05-11T08:40:00.000-07:00

I GUESS REGULAR HAND TOOLS WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE

EDMONTON -- A "cowardly" Edmonton man who "scalped" his sleeping girlfriend while using a power drill to style her hair avoided being sent to the slammer yesterday.

Shee Theng, 30, was handed a nine-month conditional sentence to be served in the community and eight months of probation on his assault with a weapon conviction.

snipped

Defence lawyer Ron Morin told court Theng never meant to hurt Rose and "wanted to just brush her hair," but conceded he used "very bad judgment" to use a power tool.

link

2006-05-11T03:29:00.000-07:00

STOLEN SHOPPING CART FOUND

Butchery in Bronx

Drug beef prods man to kill, carve up his boss

Police lead Victor Gonzalez back to the Bronx apartment where he allegedly killed and brutally butchered his boss.

A bloodthirsty ex-butcher from the Bronx expertly carved up his boss and then dumped the mutilated remains along several streets early yesterday - horrifying neighbors who found the body parts, police and witnesses said.

Victor Gonzalez confessed to cops he bashed his boss, Wilfredo Pintos, 36, in the head with a hammer during a drug-fueled argument shortly after midnight, police said.

Gonzalez - a roofer who trained to be a butcher in his native Puerto Rico - boasted to cops that he used three boning knives to fillet Pintos' corpse inside a Kelly St. apartment, a police source said.

"He was sorta proud of his handiwork, of his nice, clean lines and the clean cutting at the joints," another police source said.

Gonzalez, 44, told cops that Pintos was too big to fit in the bathtub so he laid him on white sheets and started cutting, a source said.

"The white sheets were so bloody, they looked like Russian flags," the source said.

Gonzalez first tried to borrow a neighbor's shopping cart to remove the parts all at once from the third-floor home.

After the neighbor turned him down - without knowing why he wanted the cart - Gonzalez allegedly carried five bags of flesh and a bag holding bloody sheets and clothing outside one by one. He dumped the bags around the Longwood neighborhood, cops and neighbors said.

Angel Romano found a severed arm on Intervale Ave.

"It was from the elbow down with just a plastic bag over it," said Romano, a 31-year-old carpenter. "It was a clean cut. He knew what he was doing."

Gonzalez had been feuding with Pintos for some time, neighbors said. The two men worked for Imperial Roofing Co. and the brawny Pintos enjoyed punching the smaller Gonzalez, they added.

more gory details

2006-05-05T08:37:00.000-07:00

IT MUST BE WONDERFUL TO BE EXPOSED AS BOTH A PERVERT AND A MORON IN THE SAME ARTICLE.

Web sex sting snares Roselle Park coach

Girls soccer volunteer allegedly performed on camera .

Authorities arrested a Roselle Park High School girls soccer coach on charges of attempted sexual contact after he allegedly made explicit sexual comments and masturbated on camera in an Internet chat room.

Roselle Park resident Fernando Alfonoso-Cruz, 26, is accused of making the comments and performing the sex act online for an undercover detective who he thought was a 14-year-old girl.

According to Deputy Chief Joseph Macellaro of the Bergen County Prosecutor's Office, Alfonoso-Cruz also asked the would-be teenager to masturbate as well.

The office's computer crimes unit also is investigating the possibility that Alfonoso-Cruz possessed and transmitted child pornography, according to Bergen County Prosecutor John Molinelli.

the rest

2006-05-04T13:27:00.000-07:00

AND I HAVE A MASTERS IN MAKING TOAST AND A DOCTORATE IN TURNING OFF ALARM CLOCKS *

--

"My experience has been hearing just a few notes that are similar to my phone's ring, my brain will fill in the rest," said David Laramie, a doctoral student at the Los Angeles campus of the California School of Professional Psychology, who is writing his dissertation about the effect of cellphones on behavior.

nyt

*Also:

My uncle is a professor of setting the correct time on VCR's (he's got tenure, so no worries about the DVR age).

My cousin lectures on microwave defrosting.

And, my neighbor gives seminars on how to program car radios.

2006-05-04T07:29:00.000-07:00

OF WHOM WAS IT SAID?

"We thought he was an amiable dunce, sort of like a guy out of a Budweiser ad. Actually, turns out he’s a preppy Redneck-wanna-be, a type I’ve encountered once or twice in my life and is probably one of the creepiest personality types there is. To be a racist because you were raised in a racist family in the Deep South is one thing, racist by choice is a bit worse."

A. Toby Keith
B. George Bush, 41
C. George Bush, 43
D. Jeb Bush
E. Either of the other two Bush brothers, whose names escape me at the moment.
F. George Allen, the late football coach
G. George Allen, son of tlfc, and politician
H. Jack Kemp, former politician and former football quarterback (and a pretty good one, too)
I. Jeff Kemp, son of the former politician and former football quarterback (not so good)

answer

2006-05-02T12:42:00.000-07:00

THEY HAVE TO KNOW - IT'S 50% OF THE FINAL GRADE

Expert: Ritual took place in nun's slaying

James Ewinger
Plain Dealer Reporter

Toledo -- A priest schooled in the occult testified that the 1980 slaying of a nun was filled with dark symbolism and signs that a ritual transpired.

And only "a nun, a priest or possibly a seminarian" would have the full knowledge of what all the signs meant.

A priest is on trial in the slaying -- the Rev. Gerald Robinson. He is accused of stabbing Sister Margaret Ann Pahl 31 times -- including nine times in the form of an inverted cross.

link & more

2006-04-29T15:21:00.000-07:00

WHAT A BAD BREAK. I HEAR IT'S LIKE ABU GHRAIB THERE, BUT WITH HIGH GAS PRICES.

When Amanda Early, a junior at Seton Hall University in South Orange, N.J., accepted a four-day-a-week summer job in public relations near the campus, she did not realize she it would amount to a sentence of spending an entire summer in New Jersey.

Ms. Early had planned to drive home to Connecticut every weekend, but she said gas prices would force her to remain in New Jersey in the house she shares with four other girls.

nyt

2006-04-29T06:29:00.000-07:00

A REPUBLICAN POLITICIAN, A BOY SCOUT LEADER, ACCUSED OF BEING A PERVERTED SEXUAL PREDATOR. I DON'T BELIEVE IT! OH, ON SECOND THOUGHT, MAYBE THERE IS SOMETHING TO IT.

West tied to sex abuse in '70s, using office to lure young men

For a quarter century, the man who is now Spokane's mayor has used positions of public trust – as a sheriff's deputy, Boy Scout leader and powerful politician – to develop sexual relationships with boys and young men.

the rest of the story

2006-04-27T08:04:00.000-07:00

WHAT DID THEY DO? RAID THE RECTORIES?

More Than 1, 100 Sex Offenders Captured

WASHINGTON (AP) -- More than 1,100 people wanted for violent sex crimes have been arrested in a weeklong roundup of fugitives, the Justice Department said Thursday.

link

2006-04-26T06:43:00.000-07:00

FUNNY, BUT IT'S CHILD RAPE, THEFT, AND NAZI POPES THAT BRING ME DOWN, NOT SCARCELY DRESSED PEOPLE AND SHOPPING ON SUNDAYS. CALL ME WHEN THEY TAKE A STAND ON THOSE ISSUES.

ZAGREB, Croatia - A bishop on a northwestern Croatian island has asked authorities to declare a "decency zone" in the city's center, to ban regular summertime promenades of tourists wearing nothing but swimsuits.

Ivan Kordic, bishop of Krk island, said "scarcely dressed" people "harm the morale, the spirit and the soul" of other people in the city, in a letter to city officials.

snipped

The Roman Catholic church is highly influential in Croatia, where about 90 percent of people are members. The church has so far successfully protested against yoga classes in schools, an AIDS program that taught pupils how to use condoms and shopping on Sundays.

link

2006-04-11T08:34:00.000-07:00

I'D GIVE HIM 5 MORE YEARS JUST FOR CALLING HIMSELF "DADDYMARK"

School big pleads guilty in sex sting

A Manhattan high school administrator who bragged about sexual liaisons with teenagers was nabbed trying to hook up with more underage girls in an Internet sting operation, authorities said yesterday.

Steven Mark Rubinstein, 49, an assistant principal at Murry Bergtraum High School, pleaded guilty to kiddie porn and child enticement charges in White Plains Federal Court.

School officials reassigned Rubinstein last month after learning of the allegations and will move to fire him, a Department of Education spokeswoman said.

Using the handle "DaddyMark," Rubinstein sent sexually explicit messages from his home and school computers to federal agents posing as 13-year-olds over the past year, prosecutors said.

Rubinstein, who lives in Poughkeepsie, claimed in the cyberchats that he'd had sex with 15-year-old and 17-year-old girls in the past.

After trading messages with the undercover officers, he requested a meeting so he could add
them to his list of conquests.

When confronted, Rubinstein admitted trying to meet the "girls" but shied away from an actual rendezvous when he became suspicious that he was dealing with officers.

A teacher since 1985, Rubinstein also admitted downloading and trading images of child pornography over the Internet. Authorities said they seized images of minors having sex with
adults from his computer.

Rubinstein faces a mandatory minimum of five years in prison when he is sentenced July 10.

link

2006-04-11T07:11:00.000-07:00

QUESTION OF THE DAY. WHAT'S WORSE? TO COME UP WITH A GENIUS PLAN LIKE THIS, OR TO THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA AND GO ALONG WITH IT?

Two People Charged With Filing Fake Obit

WATERLOO, Iowa -- Waterloo police arrested two people accused of filing a fake obituary with a newspaper.

Authorities said James Snyder and Mary Jo Jensen filed an obituary with the Waterloo-Cedar Falls Courier in December, saying Jensen's 17-tear-old son had died after a lengthy illness.

Police said they did it so they could get off work for a few days.

Officials said that later in the week, people who know the family saw the teenager at restaurant and called authorities.

link

2006-04-08T05:34:00.000-07:00

AND THIS LITTLE PIGGY CRIED "WEE WEE WEE" - ALL THE WAY TO THE BANK

At 22, Sarah Patterson has already spent several years in the working world, but she has yet to report her income to the government.

For one thing, Ms. Patterson, of Manhattan, works in a cash business, with no withholding tax. But she is also worried about how to list her profession on a 1040 form — she is a foot fetish model.

"What I do is not commonly considered work," explained Ms. Patterson, who said she earns more than $100 an hour for letting men ogle or stroke her shapely feet.

"When they ask for your occupation, I can't imagine there would be a little box to check describing my job." She can take home up to $400 for working a foot-fetish party where clients take turns enjoying her feet, she said. Private sessions can be even more lucrative.

nyt

2006-04-07T11:19:00.000-07:00

AND I CAN'T EVEN TRAIN MY DOG TO GET THE NEWSPAPER

Viruses 'Trained' to Build Tiny Batteries

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Researchers trying to make tiny machines have turned to the power of nature, engineering a virus to attract metals and then using it to build minute wires for microscopic batteries.

link

2006-04-06T04:42:00.000-07:00

I HEAR THEY ARE DOING THE FIRST HALF OF THE SHOW IN MANDARIN AND THE SECOND IN CANTONESE.

Rolling Stones to Play First China Concert

SHANGHAI, China (AP) -- Having played before millions of fans worldwide over a four-decade career, there aren't many firsts left for rock icons the Rolling Stones. By the end of this week, there'll be one less, after their debut concert in mainland China.

nyt

2006-04-06T04:32:00.000-07:00

GOOD LUCK TO HIM. I TRIED THE KALI DEFENSE IN TRAFFIC COURT LAST WEEK, AND NOW I'LL BE USING PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION FOR SIX MONTHS.

Hindu goddess hangs up murder plea

Kali made him do it.

A Queens judge balked yesterday when a man eying a plea deal for killing his live-in girlfriend claimed that a Hindu goddess drove him to murder.

"I was possessed by Kali at the time that I killed her," Krisna Soogrim, 38, told astonished Queens Supreme Court Justice Robert Hanophy.

"I'm not going to accept a possession defense," Hanophy said. "I don't think it's recognized under the law.... If he was possessed by a Hindu goddess, that's a question for the jury to decide."

link

2006-04-03T11:50:00.000-07:00

WORD OF THE DAY

Two dead, 30 missing as Mauritania boat disappears

Brazilian plane carrying 19 disappears near Macae

Rescued couple disappears again

Afghan convert disappears after release

Bulls' offense disappears

Woman disappears at Biltmore Fashion Park

Friendly Morris student tragically disappears

Coca-Cola Disappears in Zimbabwe

Boy Thought to Be Reincarnation of Buddha Disappears

2006-03-23T06:08:00.000-08:00

WHO WOULD JESUS MOLEST?

Ex-priest busted in kiddie sex sting

Equipped with gummy bears, lubricant and gay porn, a defrocked Pennsylvania priest was ready for sex with a boy but instead got busted by an undercover cop, police said.

Thomas Bender, 72, of Macungie, Pa., was arraigned yesterday in First District Court in Hempstead on five counts of first-degree disseminating indecent material to a minor and one count of attempting to commit a criminal sexual act.

link

2006-03-22T04:44:00.000-08:00

WHAT TIPPED THEM OFF?

Possible murder victim found on path near canal

By MICHAEL RATCLIFFE
Staff Writer

TRENTON -- The body of a man, found with a bullet hole in his right temple, was discovered along an overgrown path next to the Delaware & Raritan Canal last night, police and emergency officials said.

Police last night confirmed that detectives were investigating the shooting as a "probable homicide."

link

2006-03-18T03:23:00.000-08:00

I HAVE A WOOD PECKER. I MEAN I HAVE A WOODPECKER

He's got a machine gun and he's hard at work on the tree right outside my bedroom. That's why I'm up so early.

Usually, I'm not much of a pecker joker type. But this news item put me in the frame of mind.

2006-03-17T07:48:00.000-08:00

HANDS-ON INSTRUCTION

MORRISTOWN, N.J. A former teacher in Morris County has admitted he touched the breasts and buttocks of four freshman girls in his biology lab.

By pleading guilty to aggravated criminal sexual contact, prosecutors will seek a suspended five-year prison term when Robert Fuller is sentenced next month.Under the plea bargain, the 36-year-old will be placed on “lifetime parole” under Megan’s Law. Fuller can petition for release after being monitored for 15 years.

Authorities say Fuller began fondling the girls within days after he started working at West Morris Central High School in Washington Township.Fuller was suspended from his job soon after the allegations surfaced and the school board did not renew his contract.

link

2006-03-14T08:36:00.000-08:00

I CAN THINK OF WORSE REASONS TO POP SOMEONE

Teen Shot in Fight Over Tater Tots

A teenager was shot Monday afternoon after he was arguing over tater tots with another teen, San Antonio Police said.

The shooting happened close to 5 p.m. at the Spring Hill Apartments off Raybon on the northeast side.

link

2006-03-14T07:44:00.000-08:00

WHAT AN ADVANCE. A DRUG THAT MAKES YOU STUPID, AS WELL AS FAT.

The sleeping pill Ambien seems to unlock a primitive desire to eat in some patients, according to emerging medical case studies that describe how the drug's users sometimes sleepwalk into their kitchens, claw through their refrigerators like animals and consume calories ranging into the thousands.

The next morning, the night eaters remember nothing about their foraging. But they wake up to find telltale clues: mouthfuls of peanut butter, Tostitos in their beds, kitchen counters overflowing with flour, missing food, and even lighted ovens and stoves.

Some are so embarrassed, they delay telling anyone, even as they gain weight.

"These people are hell-bent to eat," said Dr. Mark Mahowald, who is director of the Minnesota Regional Sleep Disorders Center in Minneapolis and is researching the problem.

(snip)

A woman in Salinas, Calif., whose case is to be included in the Minnesota study, said she would awaken to find candy bar wrappers next to her bed and Popsicle sticks on the floor near the refrigerator. She blamed her husband and sons before finally believing their claims that she was eating at night, unaware.

Worried that she would choke, "my son was so afraid at night, he'd come sit by the bed and watch me," said the woman, Brenda Pobre, 54. Despite seeing several doctors, Ms. Pobre did not link Ambien to her nocturnal eating until after she gained 100 pounds.

nyt

2006-03-14T07:10:00.000-08:00

SAME OLD, SAME OLD

Three parents were arrested Thursday night in Tullahoma for a house party, police said, got out of control. One mother is even facing rape charges.

The parents are well-known and have never been in trouble before.

Police said that when they hosted high schoolers at their home, they became responsible for what happened there.

The clues came through the grapevine. At Tullahoma High School, teens were talking about a recent house party, and the rumors soon reached school resource officer Joe Brown.

“He started making inquiries to these young men, and they were really candid with him about what was going on over there,” said prosecutor Jason Ponder.

And that's how gossip got three parents arrested.

“These three have daughters in the eighth grade who have boyfriends who are 17. They allowed the 17-year-olds and the friends of the 17-year-olds to come to the home, drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes,” Ponder said.

Police said parents and teens were in the garage. When the party emptied out, Susan Stephens, a 44-year-old wife and mother, was alone with a 17-year old boy.

“Mrs. Stephens engaged in sexual relations with one of the young men,” Ponder said.

Stephens is charged with two counts of statutory rape. The homeowners, Christopher and Kelly Eaves, are charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

“When a child comes to your home, it's your responsibility to see to it these children aren't violating the law,” Ponder said.

The Eaves did not want to go on camera but said they did not provide any alcohol to the teenagers. They also said if anything happened between Stephens and one of the boys, they didn't see it.

NewsChannel 5 tried to contact Stephens, but she did not answer her door.

She used to be a substitute teacher at Tullahoma High, but prosecutors said that's not how she knew these teens.

link

2006-03-13T13:25:00.000-08:00

I WAS SURE I WAS THE HIGH BIDDER, BUT THERE WAS SOME MISTAKE - I GOT A BUNCH OF BOOTLEG DVD'S FROM HONG KONG INSTEAD

In 2000, many Americans learned about a new procedure called labiaplasty when a porn star known as Houston had her labia-reduction surgery filmed and distributed to subscribers, then later auctioned off the excised flesh over the Internet.

lat

2006-03-07T03:28:00.000-08:00

BY THE WAY, HAVE I TOLD YOU HOW WONDERFUL GENERAL MOTORS IS? AND MCDONALDS? AND ALLSTATE?

Wal-Mart Enlists Bloggers in Its Public Relations Campaign

Brian Pickrell, a blogger, recently posted a note on his Web site attacking state legislation that would force Wal-Mart Stores to spend more on employee health insurance. "All across the country, newspaper editorial boards — no great friends of business — are ripping the bills," he wrote.

It was the kind of pro-Wal-Mart comment the giant retailer might write itself. And, in fact, it did.

Several sentences in Mr. Pickrell's Jan. 20 posting — and others from different days — are identical to those written by an employee at one of Wal-Mart's public relations firms and distributed by e-mail to bloggers.

Under assault as never before, Wal-Mart is increasingly looking beyond the mainstream media and working directly with bloggers, feeding them exclusive nuggets of news, suggesting topics for postings and even inviting them to visit its corporate headquarters.

But the strategy raises questions about what bloggers, who pride themselves on independence, should disclose to readers.

Wal-Mart, the nation's largest private employer, has been forthright with bloggers about the origins of its communications, and the company and its public relations firm, Edelman, say they do not compensate the bloggers.

nyt

2006-02-22T07:25:00.000-08:00

MAYBE BECAUSE IT WASN'T JOHN, PAUL, GEORGE AND RINGO CRASHING ALL THOSE PLANES ON 9/11. JUST A THOUGHT

"I want those who are questioning it to step up and explain why all of a sudden a Middle Eastern company is held to a different standard than a [British] company," Bush told reporters.

wapo

2006-02-21T09:13:00.000-08:00

AND I JUST HIRED THE GANG DOWN AT THE LOCAL CRACK HOUSE TO WATCH MY STUFF WHEN I'M AT WORK OR ON VACATION.

Bush is refusing to budge in spite of growing complaints from Democrats, Republicans, and now even the religious right wackjobs over his plan to sell control of major US ports to the United Arab Emirates.

It's pretty clear that this is part of some larger sweetheart deal that Bush offered the UAE. But in exchange for what?

Isn't it nice to know that the Republicans are now auctioning off our national security to the highest bidder. Everything and anything for a buck.

link

2006-02-18T08:10:00.000-08:00

HEY! HE STOLE SOME OF MY BEST IDEAS!

Perv's sicko pact

Faces kidnap rap after forcing sex contract on wife

When Ruth Frey tied the knot with her husband, she told police she did not expect to be tied to a bed, sexually assaulted and asked to sign a sick contract that conferred weird sexual obligations on her.

Travis Frey, a 33-year-old Iowa father of two, has been charged with first-degree kidnapping and assaulting his wife three times after allegedly tying her to a bed with a rope.

Ruth Frey told Council Bluffs police her husband was angry with her for taking their two daughters to church.

But the case turned even more bizarre when prosecutors produced a four-page "Contract of Wifely Expectations" they said Frey had wanted his spouse to sign.

The document, a copy of which was obtained by TheSmokingGun.com, stipulated that Ruth Frey was to do "anything and everything" her husband wanted.

The contract required she be naked once the kids went to sleep, walk around the house in heels and shave her underarms, legs and pubic area every third day.

Under the heading of "My Time," Travis Frey stipulated his wife to "be subservient, submissive and totally obedient" and "to do what you are asked, when you are asked, how you are asked" and "perform any and all sexual acts."

Further, his wife was never to argue with him, complain about "anything to me or about me," raise her voice or "sigh, moan, bulk [sic] or otherwise show displeasure or unhappiness."

The contract also required his wife to pose for pictures 20 times a quarter, with Travis Frey selecting the positions.

nydn

2006-02-17T11:41:00.000-08:00

I'D LIKE TO GET IN ON THIS, BUT WITH PRICE OF GAS I'M GONNA SEE IF THEY'LL GO FOR 30K AND A MOUNTAIN BIKE INSTEAD

Mohammed Yousaf Qureshi, prayer leader at the historic Mohabat Khan mosque in the conservative northwestern city of Peshawar, announced the mosque and the Jamia Ashrafia religious school he leads would give a $25,000 reward and a car for killing the cartoonist who drew the prophet caricatures -- considered blasphemous by Muslims.

nyt

2006-02-14T08:54:00.000-08:00

WORRY WART

The Bush administration was urged yesterday to take another look at a deal that would turn over operation of two marquee New York Harbor ports to Dubai, a nation with ties to the 9/11 hijackers.

The emirate-owned Dubai Ports World finalized a $6.8billion deal yesterday to buy the English firm P&O Ports, which now runs Manhattan's cruise-ship terminal on the West Side and the Port Authority's Newark Container Port, as well as ports in New Orleans, Philadelphia, Baltimore and Miami.

"If a terrorist organization decided to infiltrate this company ... what would stop them?" asked Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.).

Schumer said the Department of Homeland Security should slow down the deal, approved by the U.S. Treasury department's secretive Committee on Foreign Investment.

Dubai has become one of the White House's close allies in the war on terror, but many of the 9/11 hijackers passed through the country and had cash wired from there.

"Foreign control of our ports which are vital to homeland security is a risky proposition," Schumer said.

link

2006-02-14T08:13:00.000-08:00

OBJECTIVE ANALYSIS AND COMMENTARY

"This is a hunting accident, created by the victim. Dick Cheney didn't do anything. He's a master hunter."

Former Wyoming Senator Alan Simpson.

nyt

2006-02-08T09:29:00.000-08:00

BETTER LATE THEN NEVER DEPARTMENT

Pink Floyd star declares band 'over'

David Gilmour ends all speculation

Pink Floyd guitarist and co-frontman David Gilmour has declared the band officially "over". Rumours have abounded that the rock giants would reform for a tour in the near future after their successful reformation at Live8 last summer.

link

2006-02-08T09:06:00.000-08:00

REVENGE OF THE DORKS

ELMWOOD PARK, N.J. — Bowling may not be a sweaty sport, a fitness sport, a sport that inspires steroid use, but according to the National Federation of State High School Associations, it is the fastest-growing high school varsity sport.

Last year, nationwide, there were almost 40,000 high school bowlers on 1,768 boys' teams and 1,676 girls' teams, and the number of participants and the number of schools with varsity teams doubled in the previous five years.

nyt

2006-02-07T11:16:00.000-08:00

GUARANA? ISN'T THAT BAT DROPPINGS?

Banned' Aphrodisiac Soda To Be Sold In Stores

Makers Claim Cherry Soda Will Arouse Drinkers

A new soda promising to sexually arouse the person drinking it will soon be available in stores nationwide, according to a Local 6 News report.

The drink, called Turn On, is made with guarana, ginseng and caffeine.

link

2006-02-03T09:02:00.000-08:00

SAUCE FOR THE GANDER HAS POLICE IN A DANDER

The demonstrators arrived angry, departed furious. The police had herded them into pens. Stopped them from handing out fliers. Threatened them with arrest for standing on public sidewalks. Made notes on which politicians they cheered and which ones they razzed.

Meanwhile, officers from a special unit videotaped their faces, evoking for one demonstrator the unblinking eye of George Orwell's "1984."

"That's Big Brother watching you," the demonstrator, Walter Liddy, said in a deposition. Mr. Liddy's complaint about police tactics, while hardly novel from a big-city protester, stands out because of his job: He is a New York City police officer. The rallies he attended were organized in the summer of 2004 by his union, the Patrolmen's Benevolent Association, to protest the pace of contract talks with the city.

Now the officers, through their union, are suing the city, charging that the police procedures at their demonstrations — many of them routinely used at war protests, antipoverty marches and mass bike rides — were so heavy-handed and intimidating that their First Amendment rights were violated.

nyt

2006-02-03T07:32:00.000-08:00

IF YOU ASK ME, MUSIC'S BEEN GOING DOWNHILL EVER SINCE THAT ELVIS FELLOW STARTED SHAKING AROUND SINGING THOSE COLORED SONGS AND GETTING EVERYBODY ALL WORKED UP

Record of failure

Execs push mediocre music for too much money & miss the market of serious listeners

A nationwide poll released by Rolling Stone magazine and The Associated Press makes clear what music aficionados have been grumbling about for years: The music business is selling junk, and charging way too much for it.

Music in general is getting worse, according to 58% of the survey's respondents, and a whopping 74% said the price of CDs is too high.

But the real measure of dissatisfaction comes from the fans.

"Less talented people are able to get a song out there and make a quick million and you never hear from them again," is how one 30-year-old from Massachusetts put it to the pollsters.
The honchos at recording labels and commercial radio stations, who often seem literally deaf to audience feedback, need to wake up to reality. They can either restore quality to the airwaves and sales racks, or get used to shrinking audiences and vanishing profits.

yakety yak

2006-02-01T11:06:00.000-08:00

WELL, MAYBE

The author James Frey said today that the reason he invented events that never happened and embellished his account of his life in his best-selling memoir, "A Million Little Pieces," is because it made a better book.

nyt

2006-02-01T06:42:00.000-08:00

ISN'T IT THE SAME AS WHEN THE PROFESSOR ASSIGNS HIS OWN BOOK TO THE CLASS?

Charge thug made coed study 'Pimp Rule Book'

A Queens man charged with forcing a North Carolina college student into prostitution kept a "Pimp Rule Book" commanding her to "obey her daddy," prosecutors said yesterday.

Carlton (Privilege) Simons, 22, also allegedly lured the 18-year-old with promises to introduce her to rap celebrities such as East Side Boyz and P. Diddy, according to court papers.

link

2006-02-01T04:26:00.000-08:00

THERE GOES THE BOY'S SCIENCE PROJECT AND MY NEW HOME-BASED BUSINESS IN ONE FELL SWOOP

"Tonight I ask you to pass legislation to prohibit the most egregious abuses of medical research – human cloning in all its forms … creating or implanting embryos for experiments … creating human-animal hybrids … and buying, selling, or patenting human embryos."

President Bush, SOTU

2006-01-26T02:49:00.000-08:00

IT'S ALL ABOUT HELENE

HS bathroom peep rap

Ex-custodian nabbed on new video charge

A creepy custodian busted hiding a camera in a pal's bathroom also made hundreds of secret rest room videos at two Brooklyn city schools where he worked, authorities said yesterday.
Michael Conte, 46, of Staten Island was nabbed Tuesday night - just two days after he was charged with planting cameras at a Long Island friend's house.

News that his video library contained as many as 1,000 tapes from Brooklyn Technical and Westinghouse high schools, dating back as far as 10 years, sent a shudder through students and faculty.

"Oh, my God!" said Helene Harris, a social worker at both schools. "I hope I'm not on one of those tapes. That is so sick."

link

2006-01-25T03:10:00.000-08:00

PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN

"You are a selfish, pathetic excuse for an American, and you can take your big fat ass over to Iraq and get your pig head cut off and stuck on a pig pole. Then, you can have your equally as-fat wife make a documentary about how loudly you squealed while terrorists were cutting through all the blubber and chins to get that 40-pound head off of you."

Anna Benson (baseball wife, political analyst, film critic) in an open letter to documentary filmmaker Michael Moore

link

2006-01-20T13:04:00.000-08:00

WHY, THAT'S MY EXACT REGIMEN AS WELL!

Arctic temperatures gripping most of Russia pushed the reported death toll close to 40 on Friday as weather forecasters warned that no major thaw is expected in Moscow before February.

Five people died overnight in the capital, city ambulance service chief Igor Elkis said. The toll in Moscow, locked in a deep freeze since late Monday, is now at least 16 while the nationwide toll is at least 38. But the true number is likely higher because many regions have not reported cold deaths.

snip

At a zoo in Lipetsk, south of Moscow, director Alexander Osipov said monkeys would be given wine three times a day "to protect against colds," the RIA-Novosti news agency reported, while Rossiya television said a circus sea lion was being treated for pneumonia with
brandy body rubs.

link

2006-01-19T03:31:00.000-08:00

NO TALENT FOR EITHER MUSIC OR A LIFE OF DEBAUCHERY, IT TURNS OUT

LOS ANGELES - Former teen idol Leif Garrett is hooked on heroin, his mom says - and she blames hard-partying rock 'n' roll legends like the Rolling Stones for steering her son toward drugs.

"Leif idolized rock stars ... that whole life of rock 'n' roll and drugs ... the Rolling Stones. He figured if they could do it, so could he," Garrett's distraught mother, Carolyn Stellar, told the Daily News yesterday.

snip

Now 44, pale and stick-thin, Garrett was busted Saturday when he allegedly tried to board an L.A. subway train without paying. Cops said they found heroin in his clothes when they searched him. It was his third heroin-related arrest since 2001, court records show.

link

2006-01-18T09:41:00.000-08:00

SUCH AS WHEN THE PARISH PRIEST SPIES A PARTICULARLY FINE ALTAR BOY?

Love should not be confused with lust, says Pope

Pope Benedict XVI's first encyclical, expected in the next few days, warns believers not to confuse love with lust or degrade it "to mere sex".

The encyclical, a papal letter to bishops that sets out Roman Catholic policy, discusses the relationship between "eros", or erotic love, and "agape", a Greek word referring to unconditional, spiritual and selfless love.'

"It is not totally negative on eros," a Vatican source said. "It argues that eros under the right circumstances is OK."

link

2006-01-13T08:41:00.000-08:00

AN HONEST MISTAKE

Man Who Killed Over 'A' On Hat Sentenced To Die

PENSACOLA, Fla. -- A man convicted of killing a retired Pensacola police officer has been sentenced to death.

Circuit Judge John Kuder sentenced Ryan Thomas Green to death on Wednesday. In October, a jury convicted Green of first-degree murder for the slaying of James Hallman, attempted murder for shooting a second man and robbery with a firearm.

The jury also recommended 10-2 that Green be put to death for fatally shooting Hallman on Feb. 23, 2003. Green, 22, was also sentenced Wednesday to two consecutive life terms without the possibility of parole for the attempted murder and robbery with a firearm of housepainter Christopher Phipps.

snip

He testified during his trial last year that he fatally shot Hallman because he believed the University of Alabama "A" on the victim's ball cap signified he was the Antichrist.

He also testified that he had set out to take his own life but that a talking bull, religious signs, colors and symbols influenced him to shoot Hallman and Phipps.

link

2006-01-13T08:08:00.000-08:00

WHAT'S UP DOC?

Stem cell experts seek rabbit-human embryo

British scientists are seeking permission to create hybrid embryos in the lab by fusing human cells with rabbit eggs. If granted consent, the team will use the embryos to produce stem cells that carry genetic defects, in the hope that studying them will help understand the complex mechanisms behind incurable human diseases.

The proposal drew strong criticism from opponents to embryo research who yesterday challenged the ethics of the research and branded the work repugnant.

link

I ALREADY SAW THE MOVIE

2006-01-12T10:51:00.000-08:00

I WONDER IF THEY'LL LINK TO ME. I COULD USE THE TRAFFIC

German cannibal back for retrial

A self-confessed cannibal has returned to court in Germany, two years after a manslaughter conviction for killing and eating an apparently willing victim.

Last year, an appeal court ordered a retrial after state prosecutors argued Armin Meiwes,44, was guilty of murder. Last year, an appeal court ordered a retrial after state prosecutors argued Armin Meiwes,44, was guilty of murder.

The case shocked and fascinated Germans when it emerged that he had found a victim on a cannibal fetish website who volunteered for his fate.

link

2006-01-12T10:34:00.000-08:00

EXCUSE ME, I ORDERED GREEN EGGS AND HAM, NOT GREEN HAM AND EGGS.

Taiwan breeds green-glowing pigs

Scientists in Taiwan say they have bred three pigs that glow in the dark.

They claim that while other researchers have bred partly fluorescent pigs, theirs are the only pigs in the world which are green through and through.

The pigs are transgenic, created by adding genetic material from jellyfish into a normal pig embryo.

link

2006-01-12T06:25:00.000-08:00

FUNNY, THAT'S NOT THE FIRST THING I'D WANT AFTER BEING IN PRISON FOR 25 YEARS

ISTANBUL, Turkey - The Turkish gunman who shot Pope John Paul II in 1981 was released from prison Thursday after serving more than 25 years in Italy and Turkey for the plot against the pontiff and the slaying of a Turkish journalist.

To the cheers of nationalist supporters, a white sedan whisked Mehmet Ali Agca — whose attempt to assassinate the pope gained notoriety for himself and shame for his homeland — through the gates of the high-security Kartal Prison as dozens of police officers stood guard. His supporters showered the car with red and yellow flowers.

Agca, 48, wearing a blue sweater and jeans, was freed five years after he was pardoned by Italy and extradited to Turkey. He had served 20 years in prison in Italy.

“We are happy. We endlessly thank the Turkish state,” said his brother, Adnan Agca.

He said one of the first things Agca wanted to do was order a typical Turkish meal of beans and rice at a restaurant overlooking the Bosporus Strait, the narrow waterway that bisects Istanbul and joins the European and Asian continents....

link

2006-01-12T06:21:00.000-08:00

EVERY HALLOWEEN, THE TREES ARE FILLED WITH UNDERWEAR. EVERY SPRING, THE TOILETS EXPLODE.

UPDATE:

Thousands of Muslim pilgrims rushing to complete a symbolic stoning ritual during the hajj tripped over luggage Thursday, causing a crush in which at least 345 people were killed, the Interior Ministry said.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dozens killed in stampede during hajj

Stoning of devil ritual marred by deadly crushes in the past

RIYADH, Saudi Arabia - At least 50 people were killed in crowding during the stoning ritual at the hajj pilgrimage on Thursday, witnesses said. The Arab television news station Al-Arabiya reported dozens of pilgrims died.

Reuters journalists counted at least 50 bodies lined up on the ground and covered in white shrouds. Some were being placed on trucks by medics.

The stampede broke out as tens of thousands of pilgrims filed past al-Jamarat, a series of three pillars representing the devil that the faithful pelt with stones to purge themselves of sin.

link

2006-01-12T05:36:00.000-08:00

MAYBE FOR LAUREN, BUT MY WIFE SAYS THEY DO NOTHING AT ALL FOR ME. SO I'LL BE STICKING TO BOXERS, A ROBE, AND MY FUZZY BUNNY SLIPPERS.

"Slips have a kind of sophistication, a sexiness that makes you feel more womanly,"

Lauren Martin, psychoanalyst.

nyt

2006-01-11T07:47:00.000-08:00

I MUST ADMIT, I GOT A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS WHEN I READ THE PART ABOUT HOW HE KICKED THE POPE'S ASS IN A BAR FIGHT, HAD SEX WITH CHELSEA CLINTON, AND WON THE NOBEL PRIZE FOR CHEMISTRY ALL IN THE SAME WEEK, BUT AS LONG AS DOUBLEDAY SAYS IT DOESN'T MATTER, I GUESS IT'S OK.

And on the second day, Doubleday shrugged.

Two days after an investigative report published online presented strong evidence that significant portions of James Frey's best-selling memoir, "A Million Little Pieces," were made up, the book's publisher issued a statement saying that, in essence, it did not really matter.

"Memoir is a personal history whose aim is to illuminate, by way of example, events and issues of broader social consequence," said a statement issued by Doubleday and Anchor Books, the divisions of Random House Inc. that published the book in hardcover and paperback, respectively. "By definition, it is highly personal. In the case of Mr. Frey, we decided 'A Million Little Pieces' was his story, told in his own way, and he represented to us that his version of events was true to his recollections.

nyt

2006-01-10T18:03:00.000-08:00

I HEAR THIS ALL THE TIME, YET, IF IT IS TRUE, THEN WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT'S GOOD AND HOLY IS THE MOVIE CONCESSION STAND ALWAYS STAFFED BY TWO PIMPLY-FACED DOOFUSES WHO HAVE NEITHER THE ABILITY OR THE INCLINATION TO SCOOP POPCORN AND POUR SODAS IN ANYTHING RESEMBLING A TIMELY MANNER, THUS FORCING MORE AND MORE PEOPLE TO LEAVE THE LINE IN DISGUST WITHOUT ADDING TO THE THEATER'S COFFERS?

The Popcorn Palace EconomyThe thirsty moviegoer fuels the business.
By Edward Jay Epstein

Once upon a time, movie studios and movie theaters were in the same business. The studios made films for theater chains that they either owned or controlled, and they harvested almost all their revenue from ticket sales. Then, in 1948, the government forced the studios to divest themselves of the theaters. Nowadays, the two are in very different businesses. Theater chains, in fact, are in three different businesses.

First, they are in the fast-food business, selling popcorn, soda, and other snacks. This is an extremely profitable operation in which the theaters do not split the proceeds with the studios (as they do with ticket sales). Popcorn, for example, because of the immense amount of popped bulk produced from a relatively small amount of kernels—the ratio is as high as 60:1—yields more than 90 cents of profit on every dollar of popcorn sold. It also serves to make customers thirsty for sodas, another high-margin product (supplied to most theater chains by Coca-Cola, which makes lucrative deals with theater owners in return for their exclusive "pouring" of its products).

more of this

2006-01-10T12:47:00.000-08:00

"THEY'RE ALL JUST FLESH WOUNDS" SAYS THE BLACK KNIGHT

Cheney's Standing With Republicans OK

WASHINGTON -- Whether Vice President Dick Cheney is suffering from problems with his foot, his heart or his knees, leading Republicans across the country say they are confident he is fit for office.'

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2006-01-10T12:29:00.000-08:00

THIS GUY SOUNDS GREAT! I BET HE'S GOING TO BE THE BEST JUSTICE SINCE WILLIAM REHNQUIST!

Presidential Power Has Limits, Alito Tells Senators

WASHINGTON, Jan. 10 - Judge Samuel A. ALito, Jr. said today that he agreed with the principle that a president does not have "a blank check" in terms of power, especially during wartime.

"The Constitution applies in times of peace and war," President Bush's nominee to the Supreme Court said in the first round of questioning before the Senate Judiciary Committee. "The Bill of Rights applies at all times."

nyt

2006-01-06T09:23:00.000-08:00

HMMM

"I wish he was hit by a bomb that would have shredded him to pieces. We have always cursed him and wished him a dramatic end. His end has finally come, and I am looking forward to the day where I will see him crippled. He deserves whatever bad happens to him."

Abu Khaled Khalife, 51, a coffee vendor in the Shatila refugee camp in Beirut, weighs in on Ariel Sharon.

nyt

2006-01-06T03:29:00.000-08:00

WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT YEAR IS THIS?

Corruption Scandal Loosening Mayor Daley's Grip on Chicago

nyt headline

2006-01-05T10:37:00.000-08:00

CAN'T A RIGHTEOUS PREACHER MAN GET A LITTLE R&R WITHOUT THERE BEING A BIG FUSS?

Tulsa Pastor Arrested In OKC On Lewdness Charge

OKLAHOMA CITY -- An executive committee member of the Southern Baptist Convention was arrested on a lewdness charge for propositioning a plainclothes policeman outside a hotel, police said.

Lonnie Latham, senior pastor at South Tulsa Baptist Church, was booked into Oklahoma County Jail Tuesday night on a misdemeanor charge of offering to engage in an act of lewdness, police Capt. Jeffrey Becker said. Latham was released on $500 bail Wednesday afternoon.

Latham, who has spoken out against homosexuality, asked the officer to join him in his hotel room for oral sex. Latham was arrested and his 2005 Mercedes automobile was impounded, Becker said.

snip

[Latham] has also spoken out against same-sex marriage and in support of a Southern Baptist Convention directive urging its 42,000 churches to befriend gays and lesbians and try to convince them that they can become heterosexual "if they accept Jesus Christ as their savior and reject their 'sinful, destructive lifestyle."'

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2006-01-05T06:38:00.000-08:00

AN OVERREACTION

Loud TV made him kill - cops

Annoyed by a loud television, an irate Brooklyn man strangled his sister after she refused to turn down the volume, police sources said yesterday.

In a typical example of sloppy journalism, we never find out what show she was watching.

2006-01-04T07:14:00.000-08:00

THEN AGAIN, IF I WERE DEAF, I'D BE SPARED EVER HAVING TO ENDURE ANOTHER WHO SONG

Pete Townshend Warns IPod Users

LONDON
Guitarist Pete Townshend has warned iPod users that they could end up with hearing problems as bad as his own if they don't turn down the volume of the music they are listening to on earphones.

Townshend, 60, guitarist in the 60s band The Who, said his hearing was irreversibly damaged by years of using studio headphones and that he now is forced to take 36-hour breaks between recording sessions to allow his ears to recover.

"I have unwittingly helped to invent and refine a type of music that makes its principal components deaf," he said on his Web site. "Hearing loss is a terrible thing because it cannot be repaired. If you use an iPod or anything like it, or your child uses one, you MAY be OK ... But my intuition tells me there is terrible trouble ahead."

Referring to the increasingly popular practice of downloading music from the Internet, Townshend said: "The downside may be that on our computers for privacy, for respect to family and co-workers, and for convenience we use earphones at almost every stage of interaction with sound."

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2005-12-30T11:53:00.000-08:00

I GUESS PRETENTIOUSSILLYASS.COM WAS TAKEN

NEW YORK - A 19-year-old PETA staffer has legally changed his name to KentuckyFriedCruelty.com.

Chris Garnett, youth outreach coordinator for the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, said he changed his name in support of the group's anti-KFC campaign.

"People don't believe me at first when I tell them my name, but it never fails to spark a discussion," Garnett, er, KentuckyFriedCruelty.com, said in a statement. "Many vow to boycott KFC after I explain the company's indifference to cruelty to animals."

Norfolk, Va.-based PETA's complaints against KFC stem from video footage shot last year recording alleged mistreatment of birds at a Pilgrim's Pride Corp. plant in Moorefield, W.Va. The plant is a KFC supplier.

Yum! Brands, the parent company of KFC, has disputed the claims of mistreatment. In June, a grand jury refused to indict former workers at the West Virginia chicken plant.

"Stacked" star Pamela Anderson, who has narrated a PETA video showing the alleged abuse, supports Garnett's name change.

"I'm sure Chris can't wait 'till KFC stops torturing chickens so he can change his name back," the actress said in a statement, adding that the chicken abuse "is awful and has to stop."

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2005-12-30T11:08:00.000-08:00

AT THE PSYCHOTHERAPY CONVENTION

In the opening convocation, Dr. Hunter "Patch" Adams - the charismatic therapist played on screen by Robin Williams - displayed on a giant projection screen photos from around the world of burned children, starving children, diseased children, some lying in their own filth.

He called for a "last stand of loving care" to prevail over the misery in the world, its wars and "our fascistic government." Overcome by his own message, Dr. Adams eventually fell to the floor of the stage in tears.

Many in the audience of thousands were deeply moved; many others were bewildered. Some left the arena.

nyt

2005-12-30T09:19:00.000-08:00

TODAY'S POT AND KETTLE POST: NICE WORK IF YOU CAN GET IT.

"As cyber sex has become more and more of a problem, what has shifted for me is the realization that many people who were into cyber sex didn't fit the classic profile of sex addicts," says Patrick Carnes, author of "In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior."

He has spent 30 years studying and establishing sex addiction as a field of psychological dysfunction.

lat

2005-12-30T08:01:00.000-08:00

SUPER LUNACY BOLDED. SANE MAN'S COMMENT ITALICIZED

PORT ORANGE -- It was 4:30 a.m. Thursday when Glen Thomas Betterley woke up bleeding from his head. He couldn't figure out why. He asked his girlfriend, Emma Lorene Larsen, whether she had struck him, and she said she didn't know.

The 53-year-old Betterley then cleaned himself up and lay back down to rest, but the bleeding wouldn't stop. About 6:30 a.m., police said, Betterley drove to work and left a note telling his boss he wouldn't be coming in because he would be at the hospital.

When he arrived at the Halifax Medical Center emergency room, Betterly learned why he was bleeding: He had been shot in the forehead. Port Orange police said Betterley couldn't tell them much about his injury or even where it had occurred.

By 11 a.m., he was in serious condition and in surgery to remove the bullet from his brain, investigators said.Thursday night, Betterley was listed in serious condition, a nursing supervisor said. No other information about his injuries was available.

About 8:30 a.m., while Betterley was being treated, police had tracked down his address and called Larsen. While on the phone with the 65-year-old woman, police said, they heard the sound of a single gunshot. When investigators entered the Orange Avenue home, they found Larsen dead from an apparently self-inflicted gunshot to the head.

Few other details were available about the couple involved in what police are labeling an aggravated battery and apparent suicide. Police did not release what caliber gun was used in either shooting.

Court records show that in April 2001, another woman obtained a domestic-violence restraining order against Betterley. He was arrested twice on suspicion of violating the injunction and pleaded no contest to the charge in one of the cases. The charge in the second arrest was dropped after the injunction was voluntarily dismissed by the petitioner.

The home Betterley and Larsen shared in Commonwealth Estates, a mobile-home community in Port Orange, is decorated with an ivy-covered trellis, fuchsia flowers and small benches for other potted plans. Neighbors said the two kept to themselves.

"I kept my distance and didn't get acquainted," said one man, who asked not to be named.

According to a doctor at Orlando Regional Medical Center, Betterley's reaction to the bullet in his brain is not that uncommon.

"I've had patients with knives in their heads, screwdrivers in their heads, lawn darts, small-caliber gunshot wounds to the head, where patients have been awake and talking," said Dr. Jonathan Greenberg, a neurosurgeon at ORMC. "The question is how important is the area that is damaged?"Greenberg explained: As long as a low-caliber bullet doesn't hit any major blood vessels or enters what is called a "non-eloquent" area of the brain -- an area that doesn't have a specific, major assigned function -- then a person can survive a seemingly serious gunshot to the head.

Sometimes, doctors don't even have to remove the bullet from a patient's brain, Greenberg said, adding that it's just a matter of repairing the damaged area."It's because you have to weigh the risk of causing damage to the brain in the process of removing the bullet," Greenberg said.

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