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Wednesday, November 30, 2005

CHURCH ANGLES FOR CONVERTS

Now it's the turn of limbo to be cast into oblivion

The Roman Catholic Church is preparing to abolish limbo, the place between heaven and hell reserved for the souls of children who die before they have been baptised.

The Church's 30-member International Theological Commission yesterday began a week-long meeting to draw up a text for Pope Benedict XVI, which is expected to recommend dropping the concept from Church doctrine.

Limbo has been part of Catholic teaching since the 13th century and is depicted in paintings by artists such as Giotto and in literary works such as Dante's Divine Comedy.

snip

It is concerned that the concept of limbo may not impress potential converts.

The Church is aware that Muslims, for example, believe that all children go straight to heaven without passing any test.

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Wednesday, November 23, 2005

HAPPY HAPPY

Make a (death) wish!

Cop accused of threatening wife at his birthday bash

A cop who once headed a domestic violence unit held an ax to his wife's head and twice threatened to shoot her - all because he didn't like the birthday cake she bought him, sources said yesterday.

"He was not a satisfied customer," a law enforcement source said. "He wanted ice cream cake."

it gets better



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Tuesday, November 22, 2005

AND I AM GOING TO ASK MY LOCAL MOSQUE TO SET ASIDE A LITTLE SPACE SO WE CAN PLAY TOUCH FOOTBALL

Meadowlands sets aside prayer spaces at stadium for Muslims

NEWARK, N.J. -- The New Jersey Sports and Exposition Authority says it will provide a special area for anyone who wants a place to pray while at Giants Stadium or the Continental Airlines Arena _ a reaction to Muslim groups' outcries after several fans who prayed at a New York Giants game were detained and questioned by the FBI in September.

more details

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GOD IS IN THE DETAILS

Monsignor in Phoenix Is Arrested

PHOENIX - The former vicar general of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Phoenix was arrested Monday on charges he fondled boys and young men and asked them prying questions about their sex lives that he pretended were part of confession.

Monsignor Dale Fushek, 53, becomes one of the highest-ranking priests to be charged in the sex scandal that has engulfed the church. The vicar general is the highest-ranking administrator of a diocese next to the bishop.

Fushek was charged with three counts of assault, five of contributing to the delinquency of a minor and two of indecent exposure. All are misdemeanors, punishable by no more than three years and nine months in all.

do you really need to read any more?


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SECOND KERSEY SIGHTING THIS MONTH?

Vigilantes end man's terror tear

The rampage of a crazed Bronx man came to a violent end when a group of vigilantes in Washington Heights knifed him in the back, police said yesterday.

The attacker-turned-victim, Jesse Mirabito, began his violent spree Saturday with a car accident, when his 1994 Honda rear-ended a livery cab on Thayer Ave. at about 6:30 p.m.

Mirabito, 25, jumped out of his car and charged toward the driver, police said. He allegedly tried to open the vehicle's door, but the cabbie drove off to a police stationhouse on Broadway.
Mirabito then sped about 100 feet down the block, where he crashed into a parked vehicle, and spotted a woman walking into her building, cops said.

He allegedly punched 45-year-old Mantza Fermin to the ground, stealing her cell phone, then chasing her across Thayer Ave.

Mirabito tried to beat the woman again, but was intercepted by an unidentified group of onlookers, police said.

One of the men stabbed Mirabito twice in the back. By the times cops from the 34th Precinct arrived, the vigilantes had fled.

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Sunday, November 20, 2005

FOLLOWING LOGIC, THE NEXT VICTIM WILL BE A 60 YEAR OLD WOMAN ATTACKED IN THE G STATION

Subway maniac sticks 3

A woman stabbed three people with a sharp object on a subway platform in midtown yesterday, police said.

The victims - women ages 21, 25 and 35 - were attacked in the A, C and E station at 42nd St. and Eighth Ave. about 3 p.m., cops said.

It was unclear if they were jabbed with a hypodermic needle or something else, such as a sharp
stick or pen, cops said.

They were treated at area hospitals and released.

Cops are searching for the attacker, described only as a black woman in a white or green jacket.

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Saturday, November 19, 2005

ISN'T THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR THIS KIND OF ARRANGEMENT?

Call 'em Match.con

Lawsuit sez online dating service set up fake dates

Match.com is being accused of sending ringers on fake dates with lonely hearts to keep them from dumping the service.

A racketeering lawsuit filed in Los Angeles Nov. 10 alleges the wildly popular online dating service secretly employs people as "date bait" to send bogus enticing E-mails and to go on as many as 100 dates a month - or three a day - to keep customers ponying up.

"Hiding behind Match.com's portrait of online success is a very big, very dirty secret," the lawsuit alleges. "Not everyone you meet and date through Match.com is just another Match.com member."

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Friday, November 18, 2005


SOUNDS LIKE BOB WOODWARD'S GOT HIS TIT CAUGHT IN A BIG FAT WRINGER ON THIS ONE

from Editor & Publisher

'Post' Ombud: Woodward Saga Inspired Very Negative Reader Response

By Joe Strupp Published: November 17, 2005 12:55 PM ET

NEW YORK Washington Post Ombudsman Deborah Howell has received hundreds of calls and e-mails from readers since yesterday's revelations about Bob Woodward's involvement in the Valerie Plame case, and none of them are positive.

"I am getting a lot of reaction and, from readers, it is all bad," Howell told E&P today, referring to the fallout from Woodward's disclosure that he spoke to a confidential White House source about Plame in 2003. "We are being barraged with calls. They think it was wrong for him not to tell his editors and wrong for the Post not to tell readers."

The ombudsman also pointed out that the e-mails "are all very different. I have not seen [an organized] campaign."

the rest

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Thursday, November 17, 2005

I WENT TO NEW YORK AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY PAIR OF KEDS

Footrace to buy valuable Nikes

Nike fans line up for their new sneakers.

Some 200 "sneakerheads" hoofed it over to midtown for last night's release of some limited-edition Nikes.

Design student Dominique Thomas, 21, of Colorado, who showed up Monday so he could be first on line, plunked down $130 for a pair of brown This Day in History Dunks.

"This was totally worth the wait, especially being in New York," he said. "It's the shoe capital of the U.S."

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GOOD DAY SUNSHINE IN THE BIG APPLE

Queens dad chased & shot dead

A father of three was shot dead yesterday inside a Queens coffee shop by a gunman who had chased him down the street and attacked him in front of a stunned breakfast crowd.

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Wednesday, November 16, 2005

REALLY, IT'S NOT THAT BAD. NO NEEDLES WERE INVOLVED; HE WAS JUST SNORTING A LITTLE.

Philly Kindergartner Found With Heroin

PHILADELPHIA - A kindergarten teacher found eight bags of heroin in a 5-year-old student's pocket, police said.

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I HAD AN IDEA JUST LIKE THIS FOR A NEW REALITY SHOW!

Judge to gov: Spring sickos

Pataki rips ruling freeing pervs from psych hosp

A dozen convicted sex fiends have been freed to hit the streets of New York as early as next week.

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THE YOUNG WHITE PEOPLE, THEY WAY THEY SELF-MEDICATE AND TRADE DRUGS, - THAT'S COOL. IT'S NOT LIKE THOSE YOUNG BLACK PEOPLE WHO USE DRUGS - THOSE CRIMINALS.

For a sizable group of people in their 20's and 30's, deciding on their own what drugs to take - in particular, stimulants, antidepressants and other psychiatric medications - is becoming the norm.

Confident of their abilities and often skeptical of psychiatrists' expertise, they choose to rely on their own research and each other's experience in treating problems like depression, fatigue, anxiety or a lack of concentration. A medical degree, in their view, is useful, but not essential, and certainly not sufficient.

They trade unused prescription drugs, get medications without prescriptions from the Internet and, in some cases, lie to doctors to obtain medications that in their judgment they need.

snip

The behavior, drug abuse prevention experts say, is notably different from the use of drugs like marijuana or cocaine, or even the abuse of prescription painkillers, which is also on the rise.

The goal for many young adults is not to get high but to feel better - less depressed, less stressed out, more focused, better rested. It is just that the easiest route to that end often seems to be medication for which they do not have a prescription.

nyt

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WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO DO TO GET A GOLF OUTING? KILL SOMEBODY?

A Philadelphia Inquirer feature writer has become the second man to accuse an elite Brooklyn private school of hiding a devastating secret: a pedophile football coach who destroyed the lives of at least 12 boys dating to the 1960s.

David Hiltbrand said Poly Prep Country Day School officials refused to fire or file charges against the late gridiron coach, Philip Foglietta, despite complaints he molested students during his 23-year tenure.

snip

Instead of being reported for abuse, Foglietta was honored at a lavish retirement party at the Downtown Athletic Club.

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LIFE IN CHINA JUST LIKE LIFE IN THE U.S.

"People raise pigs and people keep birds just like Americans keep dogs," Dr. Qi said. "Those pigs and birds are part of the family. It is a kind of self-sufficient, outmoded production method."

nyt

Dr. Qi fails to note that Americans rarely kill and eat their dogs.

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Friday, November 11, 2005

PAUL KERSEY BACK IN TOWN?

Pair fights robber, then a mystery man kills him

A Brooklyn bodega manager bashed a would-be bandit in the head with a religious candle moments before the robber fled to the street, where a mystery gunman sprayed him with bullets, police said yesterday.

Ryan Walters, 23, who had seven prior arrests, collapsed and died shortly after the Wednesday night holdup attempt in Brownsville.

more

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Thursday, November 10, 2005

UNDERSTATEMENT DOESN'T GET YOU FEATURED IN THE TIMES

"You have to be smart about how you use e-mail. Otherwise you let it ruin your life."

David Strom, editor in chief of Tom's Hardware Guide, a technology review Web site.

nyt

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Monday, November 07, 2005

SMALL MERCY

snippets:

His head is shaved clean, and he wears a graying goatee. His face is covered with blue tattoos depicting stars, planets and abstract designs, and for months his image has appeared in New York City on dozens of advertisements for HSBC Bank.

"Let's face it, not a lot of people look like me."

NYC celeb Eak the Freak

nyt

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Friday, November 04, 2005

MAYOR GETS MEDIEVAL ON MISCREANT MINORS

Mayor: Sever Thumbs of Graffiti Artists

RENO, Nev. (AP) - Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman has suggested that those who deface freeways with graffiti should have their thumbs cut off on television.

Goodman, appearing Wednesday on the "Nevada Newsmakers'' television show, said, "In the old days in France, they had beheading of people who commit heinous crimes.

"You know, we have a beautiful highway landscaping redevelopment in our downtown. We have desert tortoises and beautiful paintings of flora and fauna. These punks come along and deface it.

"I'm saying maybe you put them on TV and cut off a thumb,'' the mayor added. "That may be the right thing to do.''

Goodman also suggested that whippings or canings should be brought back for children who get into trouble.

"I also believe in a little bit of corporal punishment going back to the days of yore, where examples have to be shown,'' Goodman said.

"I'm dead serious,'' said Goodman, adding, "Some of these (children) don't learn. You have got to teach them a lesson, and this is coming from a criminal defense lawyer.''

"They would get a trial first,'' he added.

Another panelist on the show, Howard Rosenberg, a state university system regent, responded by saying that cutting off the thumbs of taggers won't solve the problem and Goodman should "use his head for something other than a hat rack.''

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TODAY'S LAUGHER

Ripon Pastor Secretly Sells Church

RIPON - A congregation has lost faith in their pastor, after he sold their church without telling them, and scammed them out of more than half of a million dollars.

A for sale sign never went up in front of the First Congregational Church in Ripon. Local police say the pastor peddled it on the sly and was spending the proceeds on big ticket items. It's no doubt an understatement to say church members are shocked.

It came out of nowhere, we didn't have a clue", says Church Leader David Prater. Church members didn't have a clue that their church, which has stood on the corner of Main and Acacia streets in Ripon for over 50 years had been sold.

Police say the church pastor sold the church and a small cottage next to it for $525,000 dollars and pocketed the money. Church Council president David Prater said the news left them stunned.

"We were devastated, we didn't know how to explain it to anyone. People were hurt. People were crying", says Prater.

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THAT'S NOTHING. MY SECOND EX-WIFE ONCE ATTACHED A #*&*&* TO MY *&*&*&$ WITH A *@#&!

Lover really stuck it to him - twice

A Pennsylvania man yesterday testified that an ex-lover really stuck it to him - using Super glue to attach his penis to his belly and then sealing his rear end shut.

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Thursday, November 03, 2005

I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR A FRANCHISE OPPORTUNITY.

HANOI, Vietnam — Thinking about giving your pet parrot a little kiss? It's not advised in Hong Kong .

The government warning against kissing pet birds is just one of the more colorful pronouncements by officials in Asian nations as bird flu fears spread faster than the virus itself.

"Bird owners should not kiss their pets," Hong Kong's Agriculture, Fisheries and Conservation Department said in a statement outlining precautions people should take when handling their feathered friends.

On Tuesday, Vietnam banned the sale of one of its specialty appetizers — duck blood pudding, which is what it sounds like. Aficionados say the dish is too much of a tradition to give up, although it's been blamed for passing bird flu to people.

"I still eat it. Not every day, but three or four times a week," said restaurant owner Pham Van Vinh. He sold up to 300 bowls of the cold, congealed treat every day before recent warnings scared some customers away. "I'm not afraid."

Made from the raw blood of freshly slaughtered ducks or geese and mixed with boiled organs, the dish was linked to at least one bird flu death last year.

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Wednesday, November 02, 2005


OH WE HEAR CHURCH PEOPLE SAY / THEY ARE IN THIS HOLY WAY / THERE ARE STRANGE THINGS HAPPENING EVERY DAY - FERN JONES

Electrocution stirs safety concerns for ministers

Until Waco police complete their investigation into the death Sunday of a local pastor, electrocuted in his church's baptistry, his religious colleagues and curious others are left speculating about how the accident happened.

The Rev. Kyle Lake, 33, pastor of University Baptist Church of Waco since 1999, died after he reportedly reached for a microphone while in waist-high water. The woman who was about to be baptized was not injured in the incident.

“We're all in a state of shock,” said the Rev. Joel Gregory, professor of preaching at Baylor University's Truett Seminary. “I have never encountered this (kind of accident) in all my years of ministry.”

snip

Jay R. Lillge, corporate communications director for Church Mutual Insurance Co. in Merrill, Wis., said Monday that pastor deaths are rare occurrences to begin with: mostly “auto accidents, some airplane crashes, maybe a serious fall. But this is the first baptismal electrocution that we have had (brought to our attention).”

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SAME THING MY UNCLE THOUGHT WHEN HE BOUGHT THAT FORD PINTO

LOS ANGELES - You would never guess that Jon Spallino drives what is probably the most expensive car in this city known for automotive excess. Or that he is the world's most technologically advanced commuter.

snip

He was at the wheel of his silver Honda FCX, a car worth about $1 million that looks like a cross between a compact - say, a Volkswagen Golf - and a cinder block. The FCX is powered by hydrogen fuel cells, the futuristic technology that many automakers see as an eventual solution to the world's energy woes, though its real potential is a subject of vigorous debate inside and outside the auto industry.

snip

One mental challenge to overcome would be the image in people's minds of a certain exploding airship filled with hydrogen, though automakers contend that fuel cell cars would be no more flammable than cars filled with gasoline.

Mr. Spallino says he hears about this a lot.

"Everybody says, 'You're driving the Hindenburg,' " he said, adding, "I assume that Honda's not going to give me a car that's going to blow up on me."

nyt

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Tuesday, November 01, 2005


MEMO TO LIBERALS: "COFFEE BREAK'S OVER, BACK ON YOUR HEADS."

President Picks Judge on Appeals Court for O'Connor's Seat P

WASHINGTON, Oct. 31 - President Bush on Monday named Samuel A. Alito Jr., an Ivy League-educated federal appeals court judge with a conservative record on abortion and a history of prosecuting organized crime in New Jersey, to succeed Justice Sandra Day O'Connor on the Supreme Court.

Mr. Bush's announcement, only four days after his previous choice, Harriet E. Miers, withdrew under scathing attacks from conservatives, was largely celebrated by the right and condemned by the left. A confirmation fight appeared inevitable over the swing vote that could shift the balance of the court and change the laws of the nation well into the century.


nyt

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