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Wednesday, March 30, 2005

SILLY ME, I'VE BEEN WASTING MY TIME TEACHING THE DOG ESPERANTO

Great Toddle Forward

To make their babies competitive in the global economy, parents are making them learn Chinese.

Hilton Augusta Rogers, 1 year and 10 months old, as blonde and blue-eyed a baby as ever was born in Manhattan, looked at the waitress taking her parents’ order at Shun Lee West, and said, “Bao bao!” which means “Pick me up!” in Mandarin. Startled, the waitress picked her up. Soon, other wide-eyed waitresses gathered around. One said, “Point to your nose” in Mandarin, which Hilton Augusta promptly did—as her parents, Jim Rogers and Paige Parker, a private investor and an aspiring author, looked on, beaming.

more here

related story

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MAYBE SO, BUT DID HE HAVE TO THROW HER OUT THE WINDOW?

An elderly Bronx grandmother plunged to her death yesterday out of her 10th-floor kitchen window in what her stunned family called a freak accident.

"Everyone feels bad," said neighbor Maria Padovani, 87. "But when God tells you you're going, you go."

link

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Monday, March 28, 2005

ALSO, LIZA USED TO DO HIS HOMEWORK

"Elizabeth Taylor used to feed me, hand-feed me at times, because I do have a problem with eating."

Michael Jackson

link

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Thursday, March 24, 2005

THAT'S WHY HE GETS THE BIG MONEY

Tom Friedman: today (reg.)

Me: 11 months ago - (no reg.)

I guess Tom is a little behind in his reading.

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Wednesday, March 23, 2005

WHY I DON'T EXERCISE

David Little, a linebacker for the Pittsburgh Steelers who was voted to the Pro Bowl in 1990, died while weightlifting at home in Miami. He was 46.

Little had heart disease, and a cardiac fluttering caused him to drop on his chest 250 pounds of weights, which rolled onto his neck and suffocated him, the coroner said.


latimes

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HEY, THAT'S THE SAME GUY WHO GOT ME MY ANESTHESIOLOGIST'S LICENSE

A Bronx teacher who repeatedly flunked his state certification exam paid a formerly homeless man with a developmental disorder $2 to take the test for him, authorities said yesterday.

The illegal stand-in - who looks nothing like teacher Wayne Brightly - not only passed the high-stakes test, he scored so much better than the teacher had previously that the state knew something was wrong, officials said.

link

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Tuesday, March 22, 2005

TEACHER A MULTI-TASKER

March 22, 2005 -- A now-suspect Teacher of the Year at a prestigious city high school asked a stunned 15-year-old student to be his "little sex slave" to boost her grade and wanted her to perform a raunchy striptease for him, authorities said yesterday.

Sickening new details in the sex-harassment case against popular Brooklyn Tech teacher Steven Ostrin, of Hewlitt, L.I., also include the father of two allegedly asking the girl how much she loved him and kissing and touching her inappropriately during a private encounter in his classroom March 2, the sources said.

At one point, Ostrin told the teen that if the pair weren't going to "exchange bodily fluids," she could "cook jerk chicken" for him, the sources said.

the rest


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Friday, March 18, 2005

HEY HERCULE, WHO WAS THAT FINE LOOKING BI...CH I SAW YOU WITH LAST NIGHT?

Belgian On Trial For Sex With Dogs

BRUSSELS (Reuters) - A Belgian man on trial for having sex with dogs claims he did it out of compassion for man's best friend, a Belgian paper says.

Daily Gazet Van Antwerpen said on Friday the 36-year old in the eastern Belgian town of Genk told the court he had sex with dogs "out of love for animals", since a lot of them can't have sex, especially those locked up in refuges.

The man, only identified by his initials, could face six months in jail if convicted.

He had worked in an animal refuge before and had also posted thousands of pictures on the Internet of himself having sex with dogs, the paper said.

link

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TODAY'S POT/KETTLE MOMENT

GOP Asks Brain-Damaged Woman to Testify

WASHINGTON - Senate Republicans embroiled in the life-or-death legal battle over the severely brain-damagedTerri Schiavo invited the Florida woman to testify to Congress in a procedural move intended to keep her on life support.

link

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Thursday, March 17, 2005

ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, PROBABLY NOT A BAD WAY TO GO.

A French woman fatally shot investment banking mogul Edouard Stern "in the course of sexual relations," Swiss authorities charged yesterday.

Stern, 50, was found dead in his Geneva apartment March 1, clad head to foot in a latex suit and shot four times, twice in the head.

link

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Wednesday, March 16, 2005

HE SAID WAS JUST TRYING TO KEEP WARM & BESIDES, WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO DO IN NOME?

A settlement in the $1 million range has been reached in a child sexual abuse case against Father Jim Poole—who founded radio station KNOM in Nome—as well as the Fairbanks Catholic Diocese and the Society of Jesus Oregon Province.

Boudreau accused Poole of kissing and fondling her dozens of times, starting in 1978, during summer visits to Nome, and continuing until she was 16. The abuse included heavy petting and having her lie on top of him, the lawsuit stated.

link

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THAT'LL BE RIGHT AFTER FLYING PIGS BUZZ THE WHITE HOUSE

"Our troops will come home when Iraqis are capable of defending themselves."

President Bush dismisses timetable for withdrawal from Iraq.

lat

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Tuesday, March 15, 2005

BREAKING NEWS

U.S., Pakistan admit bin Laden trail is cold.

MSNBC is right on top of this shocking story

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FIRST ENTRY OF THE WEEK

ST. AUGUSTINE -- A former elementary school teacher from St. Augustine has pleaded no contest to lewd and lascivious battery against a Flagler County teenager.

The former teacher was arrested at her home in St. Augustine on a Flagler County warrant after the boy's parents allegedly found suggestive e-mails and pornographic photos sent to the boy's e-mail account.

more tawdry details

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Sunday, March 13, 2005

I GUESS THAT'S WHY I NEVER WATCHED IT

"There's no swearing, no sex, no crying anorexic supermodels."

Orlando mom Jennifer Lusk protests the canceling of Star Trek.

link

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IF THAT'S ALL THEY'RE UP TO, I SAY WE LET IT GO

"I'm horrified that people in their pajamas at 2 a.m. could look into people's divorce files."

Lydia Gardner, Orange County Florida's clerk of courts."

link

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Wednesday, March 09, 2005

I AM TOO! NO I'M NOT!

Teacher Fired After School Board Finds He Wrote Hate Mail

Back in November, three African-American teachers at an Elizabeth grammar school found Thanksgiving greeting cards in their school mailboxes that contained scrawled threats and racist hate messages.

Now Elizabeth school officials believe one of recipients was the author.

the tawdry details, the pecuniary motivation

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WRONG CAVITY, DOCTOR

Dentist May Face Charges in Semen Case

CHARLOTTE, N.C. - A lawyer for a former dentist accused of squirting semen into the mouths of female patients expects a grand jury to charge his client as early as next week.

Do you really need to know any more?

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HEY ROMENESKO, KEEP OFF MY TURF

Coach Accused of Licking Player's Cuts

HALSEY, Ore. - A state panel plans to investigate a high school football coach who acknowledged licking a bloody cut on the knee of one of his players.

keep reading

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Tuesday, March 08, 2005

SOMEBODY CALL RICHARD DAWKINS

ANDERSON COUNTY, S.C. -- She's married and the mother of two, but on Monday, an upstate teacher is on paid leave for what happened with a student over the weekend.

Donna Galloway is a teacher at Westside High School. According to an Anderson County incident report, a highway patrol trooper spotted Galloway at the Brown Road boat ramp Friday night.

She was there with a 17-year-old student from T.L. Hanna High School.

The trooper reported that he approached a red SUV and saw Galloway inside -- totally nude -- and a young man pulling up his pants.

In the vehicle, the trooper found an I.D. card stating that Galloway was a teacher at Westside.

The student told the trooper he was a Hanna student.

link

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Monday, March 07, 2005

E IS FOR EXHIBITIONISM

Teacher fired after x-rated photos passed around class.

A Judson High School substitute teacher has lost her job after police say X-rated pictures of her having sex were passed around a classroom, school officials said.

link

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ANOTHER STRONG ENTRY IN THE NATIONWIDE TEACHER/STUDENT SEX SWEEPSTAKES

Local teacher had affair with student and his father

Boca Raton resident Carol Flannigan, a music teacher at a Boynton Beach public school, not only slept with an 11-year-old former student, but also had a sexual relationship with the boy’s father at the same time, according to a deposition filed this week in Palm Beach County Circuit Court.

more salacious details here

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Wednesday, March 02, 2005

TOUGH JOB MARKET

"Ma Ho won an appointment as a servant to the fourth son of the Chinese emperor, Prince Zhu Di. Tens of thousands of eunuchs held such positions,which became so coveted that the Chinese eventually prohibited self-castration to discourage the overwhelming number of office seekers.

page 232

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Tuesday, March 01, 2005

DIY HEADER: SAY, WASN'T (ENTER POP CULTURE PERSONALITY OF CHOICE HERE) JUST IN TOWN?

Baffling Stench Is Gone With Wind

The stench that wafted through Chicago during the weekend is gone, leaving authorities to guess where it came from.

link

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ALL MY GRANDMA INDIVIDUAL EVER DID WAS SLIP ME AN EXTRA COOKIE EVERY NOW AND THEN

DANVILLE, W.Va. - A 78-year-old woman faces drug charges and authorities are searching for her 72-year-old boyfriend after police found more than a pound of marijuana stashed in a freezer on her property.

the middle of the story

"They appear to be the typical grandma and grandpa invividuals. However, they sell marijuana."

Police Cpl. Larry O'Bryan.

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THE ANTE IS UPPED IN NATIONWIDE TEACHER/STUDENT SEX SWEEPSTAKES

A California high school teacher was arraigned on Monday at a Sacramento court accused of having sex with a student in a car as her two-year child was strapped into the back seat.

more lurid details

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