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Friday, February 25, 2005

IT'S TROUBLING ENOUGH WATCHING PEOPLE GNAW ON THOSE SMOKED TURKEY LEGS IN DISNEYWORLD. WHAT GRAB-AND-GO FAVORITE DO YOU SUPPOSE SEOUL DISNEY WILL BE OFFERING?

Looking to expand its global entertainment empire, Walt Disney Co. is sizing up South Korea for a possible theme park.

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MAYBE THEY SHOULD FIND A BETTER PLACE TO HIDE

"For the 3rd time this winter, an elderly couple has been found dead in their New Jersey home."

Reported on CBS radio news, 2/20/05

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Wednesday, February 23, 2005

YOUNG HICKS GET THEIR KICKS

Students at Taylor University in Upland, Ind., a liberal-arts school surrounded by cornfields, sign a contract promising not to drink, take drugs or have premarital sex. A dormitory there organizes wholesome activities, including group dates that begin at a restaurant and end at a Wal-Mart for a scavenger hunt, says Elizabeth Diffin, a senior at the university. They typically play a version called "A-Z," where the team that first finds an item for every letter of the alphabet wins.

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Tuesday, February 22, 2005

THEN HE WROTE THE BACHELOR HOME COMPANION

"When I was in San Francisco he wrote a weekly column for The Examiner. It was pretty good, then he turned it into that book, Parliament of Whores, which became a tremendous best seller."

Chris Matthews discussing Hunter Thompson on the Dom Imus radio show.

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Monday, February 21, 2005

KEY PHRASE ITALICIZED

Armando Rivera, a Wal-Mart worker who was shopping after his shift, said the programs included sports from time to time, and "sometimes I'll stand and watch it for a while."

Worker Rivera comments on Wal-Mart's latest gimmick: filling the stores with giant plasma televisions that run advertising loops.

nyt link

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Friday, February 18, 2005

POLISH PRIEST A PREDATORY PEDOPHILE (BUT, IN A MAN BITES DOG TWIST, IS NOT GAY)

The Rev. Roman Kramek was sentenced to nine months in prison Thursday for sexually assaulting a teenage girl who had sought his spiritual counseling more than two years ago.

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PUBLIC SERVANTS MOONLIGHT AS MUNITIONS MERCHANTS

A Newark school teacher and his wife, an Irvington police officer, were arrested yesterday on charges that they peddled assault rifles from their home, sometimes with their young children watching.

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NOW THAT FOOTBALL IS OVER, MY SUNDAYS ARE PRETTY MUCH FREE

WILTSHIRE Wildlife Trust is calling for volunteers to turn out this Sunday, between 10am and 3pm, at St Mark's open space to help build a reptile hibernacula to keep slow worms and common lizards safe this winter.

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I THINK I'D RATHER BE A DRAGSMAN

"All the cheese I make now I made originally in the kitchen and bathroom - you need high humidity to make cheese."

"I handcut the curds into small cubes like soft marshmallows and then scald them until they reduce to broad bean size."

Ness Williams, cheesemaker.

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IS THAT A BAG OF ANIMAL DROPPINGS YOU'VE GOT THERE REGINALD, OR ARE YOU JUST GLAD TO SEE ME?

In a drag hunt, a field master leads a team on horseback, guided by foxhounds on the trail of an animal scent. A huntsman manages the dogs with the help of his assistants, the whippers-in.

But instead of tracking and then killing a live fox, the hounds follow a dragsman—an ordinary (if athletic) human who runs ahead of the pack daubing the trail with artificial scent.

The scent is made from animal droppings or human urine, aniseed, and fixative. The dragsman pulls it along in a bag to create a cross-country trail (or "dragline") of a few miles that includes natural barriers and jumps for the horses. When the pack catches up with him, the dogs get some biscuits, and the hunt begins anew.

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Thursday, February 17, 2005

GIGO = $$

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. (AP) -- Wal-Mart Stores, Inc., the world's largest retailer, announced Thursday it posted a 16.2 percent increase in profits for its fourth quarter, beating Wall Street expectations. Its earnings for the full year topped $10 billion for the first time.

Wal-Mart president and chief executive Lee Scott called it a solid performance but added, "we can do better.''

nyt/link

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Wednesday, February 16, 2005

EVERYTHING'S BETTER IN THE BIG APPLE

LAWRENCE -- Undercover police detectives yesterday arrested two alleged prostitutes at the Stressless Sessions massage parlor at 1303 Brunswick Ave.

"I haven’t seen the client list. This isn’t Scores up in New York City; these people are not like high class."

Police Spokesman Lt. Charles Edgar.

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Tuesday, February 15, 2005

ONE USUALLY HAS TO VISIT THE SMOKING GUN FOR FINE MATERIAL SUCH AS THIS

HAMILTON -- Within hours of being married, Valentine’s Day newlyweds Ronald and Elizabeth Schroeder traded their honeymoon for a pair of matching handcuffs and a trip to police headquarters.

the entire nonsense


MY FAVORITE PARAGRAPH - IN WHICH IT IS REVEALED WHAT A CLASSY FELLOW THE BRIDEGROOM IS:

"It was horrible," Ronald Schroeder said. "I had on a $900 Carlo Vilencio pinstripe suit with a silk tie, and my wife had on a couple hundred dollar dress on too. That should show you how bad of a day I had."

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Monday, February 14, 2005

ANOTHER FROM THE PERFIDIOUS PASTORS SERIES

A luxury-loving Manhattan monsignor accused of taking more than $1.5 million from an 88-year-old parishioner and his upper East Side church could soon face criminal charges, the Daily News has learned.

the rest of the story

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Thursday, February 10, 2005

WHAT'S THE FUSS? IT'S NOT LIKE HE WAS A DEMOCRAT, OR A LIBERAL, OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.

WASHINGTON - A conservative ringer who was given a press pass to the White House and lobbed softball questions at President Bush quit yesterday after left-leaning Internet bloggers discovered possible ties to gay prostitution.

"The voice goes silent," Jeff Gannon wrote on his Web site. "In consideration of the welfare of me and my family, I have decided to return to private life."

Gannon began covering the White House two years ago for an obscure Republican Web site (Talon-News.com). He was known for his friendly questions, including asking Bush at last month's news conference how he could work with Democrats "who seem to have divorced themselves from reality."

Gannon was also given a classified CIA memo that named agent Valerie Plame, leading to his grilling by the grand jury investigating her outing.

He came under lefty scrutiny after revelations that the administration was paying conservative pundits to talk up Bush's proposals. By examining Internet records, online sleuths at DailyKos.com figured out that his real name was Jim Guckert and he owned various Web sites, including HotMilitaryStud.com, MilitaryEscorts.com and MilitaryEscortsM4M.com.

"The issue here is whether someone with connections to male prostitution was given unfettered access to the White House and copies of internal CIA documents. For a family values administration, that's pretty creepy," said John Aravosis, one of the bloggers chasing the story.

The White House didn't return a call asking how someone using an alias was given daily clearance to enter the White House.

On his TalonNews Web site, Gannon had written that liberals were out to get him because he's a white conservative man who owns a gun, drives a sport-utility vehicle and is a born-again Christian.

Yesterday, however, he abruptly quit, and all of the stories he wrote were erased from the Web site. A great many were on gay issues, including one detailing John Kerry's "pro-homosexual platform" that was headlined mockingly, "Kerry Could Become First Gay President."

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Wednesday, February 09, 2005

WATCH THE SPOT! SHOCKER UPCOMING!

For years I have jealously, nay zealously, guarded the true identity of The Rude Pundit. But now that he is old, decrepit, and near death, I will soon be released from my vow.







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HEY ROSE, IF THE TECH GIG FALLS THROUGH, GET DOWN TO 1 POLICE PLAZA AND PICK UP A GOLD SHIELD, YOU'RE A NATURAL


“When we first met, he told me, ‘I have an antique Porsche, I collect Ducatis, and I like shopping for vintage modernist furniture.’"

As much as she enjoyed his ability to help her pick out clothes, his tendency to throw tantrums in public made him a less-than-ideal shopping partner.

“He had a lot of mother issues and was very metrosexual."

Not surprisingly, Rose suspected he might be gay.

Rose, 38, a technology executive, discusses her one-year relationship with an interior designer named Paul.

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THE QUOTABLE PILL POPPER

"You can't go around the house and find a bag of cocaine in your parent's house, but you can find Vicodin."

"Nothing bad has come from it, only good."

Unnamed Palo Alto High School senior discusses his drug use.

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IF EVEN A DOPE LIKE ME KNEW ENOUGH NOT TO BUY A COMPAQ COMPUTER, WHY DID SHE THINK BUYING 20 OR 30 MILLION OF THEM WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA?

SAN FRANCISCO - Carly Fiorina's nearly six-year reign at Hewlett-Packard Co. ended Wednesday as the company's board forced her out as chief executive.... read more

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TEENAGE WUSSES GIVE DEBAUCHERY A BAD NAME

More than 50 kids flocked to the ritzy home of Dr. Paul Taxin, a dentist who has a teenage daughter, for a night of debauchery in the basement...."

"There were a few kids there who were really drunk. Two girls and a guy were involved in a three-way kiss."

Partygoer Jordan Cherson.

"There was beer and vodka all over the place, I myself drank nine or 10 beers."

Jonathan Lombardi, a senior at Ardsley High School.

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Tuesday, February 08, 2005

POT, KETTLE

U.S. is 'watching Togo closely'

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- The United States joined the African Union and France in calling on Togo's military to respect constitutional processes Monday after the Togolese military installed the son of its former leader to succeed his father as president.

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Saturday, February 05, 2005

RINGO APOLOGIZES: "I'M SORRY. I FELL IN WITH A BAD CROWD."

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Wednesday, February 02, 2005

KIM JONG IL CROSSES A COUPLE OF THINGS OFF HIS "THINGS TO DO TODAY" LIST

Seoul, South Korea -- The order to shaggy-haired North Korean men couldn't be clearer: Get a trim like Kim. The reclusive communist country is waging a hair war, telling its male population to lose the long locks, cut the coiffures and mow the mane to conform to "socialist style" -- no longer than two inches.

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Washington - Scientific tests have led American intelligence agencies and government scientists to conclude with near certainty that North Korea sold processed uranium to Libya, bolstering earlier indications that the reclusive state exported sensitive fuel for atomic weapons, according to officials with access to the intelligence.

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Tuesday, February 01, 2005

THE MAN'S NAME OR THE ELEPHANT'S?

FORT WAYNE, Ind. -- An elephant being loaded onto a truck trampled a circus animal trainer to death at Memorial Coliseum, police said.

Police said they did not know how many times the elephant stepped on the man, whose name was not released.

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THE SAME THING HAPPENED TO MY PARISH PRIEST

TAMPA -- An assistant state attorney general was hit with pepper spray and mugged after he called an escort service to a hotel, police said.

the rest of the story

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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

"You may not be interested in war, but war is interested in you."

Leon Trotsky

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